<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Heaven in Hiding by Jamdropx35</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261596">Heaven in Hiding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamdropx35/pseuds/Jamdropx35'>Jamdropx35</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Mentions of Johnny if you squint, River's POV, Smut, Spoilers, Spoilers if you haven't played the game at all?, no spoilers for the ending because I don't know her, obvs, spoilers for Jackie, spoilers for all of River's missions, trying to not go too much into details you already know from the missions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:41:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamdropx35/pseuds/Jamdropx35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Detective River Ward, meet V, Night City merc, and a damn good one at that.<br/>They're chasing the same dirty stink, and River doesn't really know what to think about her. But sometimes, people are meant to meet, and River's opinion of V quickly changes, and maybe, just maybe, she can help him get back on track.<br/>He's been drowning in guilt for so long, maybe too long, and suddenly things start to turn around. V is starving for the life she thinks she's losing, and she's ready to devour anything that helps her feel alive.<br/>_<br/>Rivers' POV for his story arch, without too much repeated detail (I hope) for the in game things. I add in some details, some dialogue that I wished I could have said, and some other things that help flesh out and fill in the relationship between River and V. I'm ignoring the endings because I don't like that and I like happiness and River has earned his Disney moment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female V/River Ward, V/River Ward</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>288</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Blue Cascades</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love Johnny so much, but River is getting significantly less love and goddamn that man slays me. I love him so much. Just sandwich me between the two, I'll be happy.<br/>V would be too ;)<br/>I don't write much, but I read a lot. I really hope the characters aren't too OOC. I hope you enjoy :)</p><p>Work Title from 'Heaven in Hiding' by Halsey,<br/>Chapter title from 'My Completeness' by Thirsty Merc.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say River Ward was not a fan of mercenaries was an understatement, and a big one. However, he conceded that they were a necessary part of Night City life. With the NCPD overwhelmed, understaffed, and underequipped to deal with the gangoons that roamed freely and heavily armed, mercenaries were sometimes the only way to keep the streets safe. Not to mention the fact that half his fellow detectives were genuine gonks, and the other half were in corpo pockets.</p><p>So, when he got the call from a mysterious ‘V’ claiming to be interested in the Rhyne case that had his nose all out of joint, River was willing to entertain the idea that maybe, <em> just maybe </em>, this merc might be able to get further ahead than he had before he had been shut down.</p><p>He didn't tell Han about it before she arrived, not interested in hearing yet another lecture about "letting it go".</p><p>When he was approached by a 5'5 blue haired woman wearing pink aviators, tight black business pants and a red formal jacket, he didn't exactly know what to think. Her cocky smirk made him want to roll his eyes, but her dirty black boots told him that maybe she wasn't a corpo sell out.</p><p>Han -River <em> knew </em>he would tell him to let it go- left with a strong word about not drawing attention, and V slid into the now unoccupied booth, relaxing into the bench seat and pulling her leg up so she could rest her arm on it casually.</p><p>She never sat still, not once during their brief chat, always looking around or fidgeting, even going so far as to steal his coffee; he raised an eyebrow in response but she shrugged. "I figure we'll be on the go before I can order my own, and you looked about done with it anyway" was what she offered in explanation.</p><p>River noted that she moved like she was uncomfortable in her clothes, and watched as she pulled off her jacket as they approached his truck, revealing a tight black cropped tank, toned arms, and cybernetic forearm implants.</p><p>She threw the jacket dismissively into the back seat, obviously not caring about it in the least. When she caught him watching her she grunted, "Fuckin’ hate wearing this shit, but I wasn't meeting fancy ass Peralez in my ragged ass threads”.</p><p>River was intrigued, to say the least, but still disapproving - after all, mercs were barely better than gangoons. He let her pick where to go first, his CI or the perps boss, and when she chose Neil he sent her in as a way of testing her.</p><p>She laughed when he cornered Neil in the alleyway, but still managed to calm him down and talk him out of the info they needed. Her eyes were still crinkled and shining with mirth when they got back into his truck to continue their investigation, and she told him that it was a good play, and that "maybe all pigs weren't gonks after all".</p><p>He rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help chuckling.</p><p>They spoke to Horváths' boss, didn’t get much, and V seemed disheartened. He tried to lighten the mood by explaining that not every clue was obvious until you linked it to other clues.</p><p>He was genuinely shocked when she let him handle the Tyger Claw gonks at his car. She had tensed and put her hand on the pistol holstered on her hip, but hadn't acted, which clashed with his idea of her being an unstable hot head.</p><p>"Walking the streets with you, downright unsafe", she smiled, and River briefly thought that she was pretty, <em> for a merc </em> , and then stomped that thought down before it could expand. That was a can of worms he <b>did not want to open</b>.</p><p>River waited with baited breath as V snuck her way into the Red Queens Race, gently taking out all the guards before they could spot her, and using computer terminals or quick hacks to turn off surveillance cameras as she went. He paced back and forth, fiddling with his pistol as he waited, frustration at not being able to help making him agitated and twitchy.</p><p>She spoke quietly as she went, sometimes to him, sometimes to herself, little quips and jokes, pointing out details, sometimes just comments on how stupid these gangoons were, or how ugly.</p><p>"Ugh, gross, I think I stepped in vomit. I fuckin' <em> hate </em> this shit. Days like today make me miss my old job"</p><p>"What was your old job?"</p><p>V snorted softly, "you wouldn't believe me if I told you"</p><p>"Try me?" Mostly he just wanted to keep her talking, so that he knew she was OK</p><p>A soft grunt as V took down yet another gangoon, gently laying him on the floor, "first floor cleared, gonks’re all sleeping like babies, and I've found the entrance to our mysterious club, if you want to join me. I've disabled all the cameras on this floor so there'll be no sign of you ever being here"</p><p>He was already moving to her location as he grunted out "On my way", itching to be doing something rather than simply waiting. He was surprised that not one of the gang members was dead, she had literally knocked out all of them.</p><p>She was leaning up against the wall when he rounded the corner, cleaning her baseball bat, looking for all the world like she was anywhere but here, doing anything but investigating the possible murder of the mayor in the den of a hostile and violent gang. Her calm demeanour worked its way into him, washing over him like fresh air.</p><p>She nodded at him, before flourishing towards the elevator, "after you, sir."</p><p>He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but all in good humour. It seemed V didn't take much seriously.</p><p>They cleared out the club quickly, working together almost seamlessly; something that surprised and warmed River in a way he desperately tried to ignore. </p><p>The proof of Han's betrayal in the office made it easier to focus on the job, and he was mostly furious at himself for not seeing the signs. Of course Han was dirty, that's why he was so insistent on River dropping the entire case. He was copying data from the terminals as V meandered out to check the private rooms around the corner. He suspected it was partially so that V could give him some space to deal with the information privately.</p><p>"You never did say, by the way, what your old job was" he teased, trying desperately to get his equilibrium back.</p><p>"Damn, here I was hoping you'd forget"</p><p>"I’m a cop, V, it’s my job to not forget things"</p><p>A brief silence, and River worried that he had pushed too far. He thought she’d been joking but... maybe not.</p><p>When her answer finally floated through to him, her voice was airy and distracted, "...I was Arasaka counter-intelligence… hey Ward, c'm'ere, I think… think I found something"</p><p>"Arasaka?! Counter-intelligence?! You've got to be shitt-"</p><p>A cry cut him off, raw shock that quickly turned to pure agony, and he was flying around the corner to try and get to her, gun up and ready as he stormed the room. She was kneeling on the floor, head cradled in her hands as she groaned through clenched teeth, body spasming and twitching like she was being electrocuted. River ripped the BD headset off from around her head and V gasped in relief, gulping in air and cradling her head in her hands, tears silently running down her cheek. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly as he checked her pulse.</p><p>"Look at me V, You're okay, everything is okay. Look at me"</p><p>"I think… think you… saved my fuckin' life…" V stared at him in shock, "I think I know what happened to Rhyne, and I don't think it happened peacefully in his sleep"</p><p>They threw the idea back and forth for a minute or two, and then River found V some water, making her promise to sit for a minute while he finished the download. He came back to find her holding a cigarette to her mouth with shaky hands. She threw him a half hearted smirk.</p><p>"I don't know why I'm reacting so badly. Doesn't make any sense"</p><p>He sat next to her, close enough for their shoulders to brush, "Y’ almost died V, it <em> should </em> shock you. I'd be more concerned if you were handling it well. You're human, and it’s human to be affected by near death experiences"</p><p>She snorted, "nah, not when…" she stopped, cutting herself off sharply, staring out at nothing, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, before nodding and turning back to him, "You're probably right, never mind,” she stood abruptly, “Let's get out of here, I want some fresh air".</p><p>He drove them back to the Chubby Buffalo in silence, both of them lost in thought.</p><p>Almost dying will do that to you, he knew from experience. You start re-evaluating things, replaying moments over and over. He was also replaying that moment over and over, watching her spasm and seize, shocked by some invisible force.</p><p>He found himself wanting to hold her, to protect her.</p><p><em> Stop that </em>, he growled to himself.</p><p>She remained quiet while he confronted Han, only snapping at him when taunted. After Han left, they talked about the next move as they looked out over the city. </p><p>She bumped shoulders with him and looked him in the eyes, her expression thoughtful, "I wouldn't give up on this. It's risky, and you could lose your job, or worse, but this kinda shit? This's what being a good cop is <em> about </em> , River. It's about finding the bad guy when no one else wants to see it. If I were you, I wouldn't stop banging on the wall until someone shut up and fuckin' <b>listened</b>", she pulled away a bit, chewing on her lip again, "but, I've got nothing to lose, so don't listen to me," then she stepped away, rolled her shoulders, and plastering a wide grin on her face, holding out her hand, "I've gotta call Elizabeth, but it was nice working with you, detective Ward. You're a good cop, and I owe you for saving my life. 'Til next time"</p><p>They shook hands and he watched as she sauntered away, throwing a leg over a heavily customised ARCH motor bike, and starting to talk emphatically; River assumed on the phone to Elizabeth Peralez.</p><p>After a moment, V looked over her shoulder, catching River staring at her. She grinned brazenly, throwing him a wink before starting up her bike and racing off into the night.</p><p>River wiped at his face with a groan before trudging back to his truck.</p><p>He didn't realise her jacket was still in the back of his truck until he was halfway back to the station.</p><p>_</p><p>He looks for her when he moves through the city, thinks he sees flashes of blue hair, thinks he hears the roar of her bike, but she's never there when he looks again.</p><p>He listens now when he hears NCPD dispatches to contractors about organised crime rings and when mercs call in to report dealing with gang leaders. He hears gossip in the office about one particular contractor who seems to be everywhere at once, taking out high profilers every other day -sometimes multiples in one day-  and leaving them tied up like neat little packages for beat cops to collect.</p><p>He smiles when he hears that she draws a V on their foreheads in lipstick, like some kind of eccentric calling card. He chuckles when he hears today's colour is fluoro pink.</p><p>He can't help but text her, joking about how she must be rolling in eddy's after all the contracts she's handled.</p><p>Within minutes she responds with an image of her laying on the hood of a light blue Quadra Turbo-R V-Tech, her arms pulled up behind her head and a wide grin spread on her face.</p><p>She’s wearing fluoro pink lipstick.</p><p>Her shocking blue hair is still pulled up into a bun, but she's wearing casual light wash jeans, and a purple jacket over a white strappy top that shows off her midriff. Same black leather boots though, but her aviators are mirrored now, not pink. </p><p>She looks happy. <em> She looks sexy </em>.</p><p>She quickly follows the image with a message, "literally rolling, my giant and handsome friend ;P"</p><p>He smirks, stomach clenching happily, before he returns to writing his report.</p><p>_</p><p>They message back and forth, on and off, never about anything serious. Sometimes she makes him smile, sometimes she makes his dick twitch. He tries not to think about it too hard.</p><p>_</p><p>Work keeps piling up, he doesn't go home, <em> can't go home </em>, and he sleeps at his desk so much they make jokes about how cuffing him to his desk wouldn't make a difference. When he does finally leave, not to investigate or chase leads or do his job, but to sleep, he rents motel rooms. He eats shitty street food whenever he remembers to -which is not often- drinks more coffee than he thinks his body can contain, and sleeps less than a new-born baby.</p><p>He keeps a hopeful eye out, praying to catch sight of her… a glimpse… anything. He doesn't <b>see </b>her, but sometimes he gets messages. It feels like just enough to keep him going.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Daylight's Dying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for all your beautiful feedback and the kudos &lt;3<br/>I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas, a Happy Yule, and Safe Holidays :)</p><p>Chapter title from 'Run Baby Run' by The Rigs.</p><p>I hope you enjoy :)<br/>Next chapter up probably in 2 or 3 days !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>River didn't know who to turn to. He'd gone over the footage of them taking down Harris a thousand times, he'd read the file back to front more times than that, including the reports from both officers, and he'd grilled Gonaghal five ways to Sunday, but he had no idea of where Randy might be. He had no clues, no leads, no witnesses to talk to. Only dead ends.</p><p>And then, to top it all off, yesterday they'd suspended him over the Rhyne investigation.</p><p>Of course, they made up some bullshit about harassment towards his partner, but they all knew what had happened.</p><p>He felt trapped, restless and hopeless, pacing back and forth in the motel room he was renting. He couldn't bear going home to Joss and telling her he'd been suspended - she wouldn't be able to handle it, her plate was already full enough.</p><p>He reread the message from Pablo, telling him about the audit on the lab that had access to Harris's dream BD, and the address.</p><p>He needed to get in there, to get access to Harris's dreams, needed to find Randy. He owed it to Joss.</p><p><em> Owes a lot to Joss </em>. </p><p>The room tightens around him, guilt replacing the blood in his veins and making him swell three, four, five times his size. <em> He's a failure, a failure, a coward with a gun, his mother's wide eyes stare at him. </em> His lungs are made of concrete and there is no room left for oxygen. He desperately falls out of the cramped room and onto the terrace, sucking in the fresh (or as close to fresh as you can get in NC) air and slowly starting to come back to himself. He feels better for being outside, though he carefully ignores the shaking of his hands. His eyes sweep over his truck, focussing on pointing out all the details he can, when he catches a flash of red fabric, and is hit with some sort of an epiphany.</p><p>It's the red of <em> her </em> formal jacket. Her jacket which is still laying on the back seat of his truck, folded now instead of carelessly tossed away.</p><p>V is a capable, formidable, and resourceful merc. If anyone can help him break into the lab and steal the dream BDs, it's her.</p><p>He's scrolling through his list of contacts before he even decides for sure what he wants to do, his hands still shaking, but he hesitates when he settles on her name.</p><p>He looks over their message history, stomach tossing and turning. He thinks, long and hard. This has a lot of risk, he'd be breaking the law, asking her to break the law too. If they got caught, the amount of trouble they'd be in is almost unbelievable. He would be kicked off the force, they'd both probably go to jail… it would be a disaster.</p><p>He spends an hour checking and rechecking the information Pablo had sent through, looking for cracks in the plans he makes in his head.</p><p>If they get caught, he'd take the fall for her, easy.</p><p>As long as they found something about Randy, some kind of lead, he didn't care. It would be worth it.</p><p>For Joss. For Randy. For the little family that they were trying so hard, <em> too hard </em>, to hold together.</p><p>So, he calls her.</p><p>She picks up on the second ring, "Well my, oh, my, is this my favourite detective in all of beautiful NC?" Her voice is cheery, if a bit distracted, and the noise of her bike on the road is dull in the background.</p><p>"V, hey, I need your help"</p><p>She cracks a joke about the NCPD being desperate if he's calling a freelancer for help, but he can tell she's just feeling him out.</p><p>Her voice, her soft, rounded voice, is calming in a way that he can't explain, and he almost explains it all right there on the phone, but he catches himself before he goes too far. He asks her to meet, later tonight, and she agrees readily.</p><p>"Of course River, I'll be there… you gonna be OK until then?"</p><p>She's more perceptive than he had thought previously, and he adjusts his opinion of her in his head, again.</p><p>"I'll be fine. Thanks V, see you tonight"</p><p>He texts her the address and continues to build a plan, doing what recon he can without full access to his NCPD privileges, until he's pretty certain his plan will work.</p><p>He realises on his way to meet her that he didn't tell her he had been suspended… and that a part of him doesn't want to tell her. There is an internal struggle the entire way there about whether she needs to know before their heist or if it's OK to wait until afterwards. </p><p>He pulls into a park as he settles on telling her after they get the BDs, and he's barely there a minute before he hears the dull roar of her bike pull in behind him.</p><p>She is so drastically different from the first time they met that he almost does a double take. Her previously blue hair, piled up into a bun on top of her head, was now a soft pink, cropped into a bob with a fringe that sat just above her eyebrows. Her formal outfit had been replaced with low slung black cargo pants with red detailing, her shirt was a dark grey with white writing splattered on it - 'burn corpo shit', <em> subtle V, subtle </em> - and was partially covered by an old, worn looking black and red edgerunner jacket. She wore the same black leather boots as before, however they looked a little more worn.</p><p>No wonder he hasn't seen her around the city; he'd been looking for the shock of blue hair.</p><p>She's jumping into his passenger seat as he processes the changes, and she immediately picks up on his mood, concern flashing across her face and spilling out in her voice. He shows her the clip of Harris getting caught, and explains the situation, then he gets out, and walks her over to the lab. The fact that she was immediately on board, supportive of him, twists something in his chest.</p><p>He hasn't felt affection for someone not family in so long he's almost forgotten what it feels like.</p><p>They stop at the lab and he runs through his plan, which she takes in with a growing smile.</p><p>"Oohhh, we're gonna break the law?" She quips, elbowing him softly in the ribs and winking. He tries to at least give her a chuckle, but it doesn't really work.</p><p>The guilt is eating him alive, and the concern for Randy is the only thing left.</p><p>She seems to pick up on this, and quickly settles back into the more serious, sombre mood, making her appear weary and drained. Somewhere, in the back of his brain, he promises to make her smile again soon, to joke with her and tease and banter like she so obviously wants to.</p><p><em> Like </em> <b> <em>he</em> </b> <em> wants to </em>.</p><p>She leads him around the back of the building, quietly explaining that buildings like this always have multiple entry points, one of which being a back door. She hacks through it easily, which impresses River significantly, and they quickly work their way through the lab with few words spoken between them until they find the right cabinet with Harris' details.</p><p>And then Yawen catches them, and that's a whole shit show of its own. She's furious, of course, and spills the beans; V finds out that he's been suspended - <em> fuck </em>- and in a rage River uses the only thing he can; Yawens' medical exam miracle. The guilt is immediate, adding to the already overwhelming pile of steaming shit that he is, but he is somewhat calmed when V calls him her friend, saying that he hadn't let her down yet, and pushes Yawen to give them what they need, guilts her until she caves.</p><p>It gets them the only lead they've got, and River feels a piece of his sanity click back into place, as well as the fire inside him flickering back to life.</p><p><em> Hope </em>. His hands are steady for the first time in days.</p><p>As he's about to leave the room, V asks Yawen about a biochip, about Arasakas relic, and they talk back and forth for barely a minute before V dismisses it as not important and follows him out of the lab. She is quiet as they make their way back to his car, but he can feel her eyes on him as he pulls out of the parking bay.</p><p>"Ok, let's hear it"</p><p>She asks about being suspended, he explains that he pushed about the inquest into Rhyne, how they swept it under the rug, and he kept making noise until they shut him up.</p><p>She places her hand gently on his forearm, the touch ever so light and yet warm and reassuring. "I'm proud of you, for pushing at it, but I am sorry they suspended you"</p><p>He looks at her briefly, and her smile is soft and small, but it's real, genuine, and in the hazy light River catches himself being slightly transfixed by the way the light makes her glow.</p><p><em> She is beautiful </em>.</p><p>She asks where he's taking her, and it snaps him back to reality, back to the case, back to Randy. They talk back and forth about Randy, Joss, the case, and Yawen.</p><p>He promises to tell her more about his complicated series of arguments with Yawen over a beer sometime, and she says she'll hold him to it, which makes something in his stomach flip. V plays with the radio and then softly sings along to some old rock music. River breathes in her steady, calming aura and lets it take hold in his chest, climbing over the guilt and settling in next to the flickers of hope.</p><p>Pulling up at Joss' house hurts so much, fills him with so much shame and guilt that he almost can't bear it, and even though he told V not to tell Joss about Randy being kidnapped, River doesn't know if he can hold it in any longer.</p><p>Turns out he can't, and River spills the information to Joss like word vomit, before V asks if they can look through Randy's trailer to try and help them get a better picture, a better lead.</p><p>Joss dismisses them, tells them not to break anything or mess anything up; she's still holding on to hope that Randy is coming home. It hardens his resolve to find his nephew and bring him home.</p><p>They're accosted by Monique and Dorian on their way to Randy's trailer, and they ask if V is his girlfriend. They both chuckle, and he explains that V is "just a friend". He doesn't think about what dating V would look like. <em> He doesn't </em>. </p><p>They look through Randy's trailer, and V is twitchy again, seeming to struggle to focus on what he's saying.</p><p><em> Maybe she's as distracted by the idea of us dating as I am </em>.</p><p>River rolls his eyes at himself, both for getting distracted by this when Randy is possibly in some real deep shit, and also for feeling guilty about getting distracted.</p><p>As they stumble across details that paint a picture about Randy, River wonders how he can know so much about a person and yet so little. He can tell you the story of Randy's first scar - a two inch curved and jagged thing behind his right shoulder from falling over in the driveway onto a bottle that broke - and the kids favourite song on each <em> Tainted Overlord </em>album, but he didn't know Randy was so torn up or angry, didn't spot the same things that River himself had felt as a child after what had happened with his parents. </p><p>How could he have missed it?! How could he have not been there when Randy needed him? He feels like a failure.</p><p>
  <em> He failed his parents, he failed Randy, and now he's going to fail Joss. </em>
</p><p>He shakes his head, physically throwing away the unwelcome feelings of hopelessness, and he clings to the hope that has just been relit within him.</p><p>She finds the computer, cracks into it with an ease that again impresses him, they read the creepy messages from Harris, they find the creepy cartoon, and River flicks it over to Yawen. Her response is almost immediate and full of threats and expletives, but he feels it in his bones that this is the right direction.</p><p>The hope in his chest goes from flickering to a steady flame.</p><p>V manages to get the IP address out of the laptop - cue River being impressed, again, and then internally rolling his eyes at his own idiocy - and then they head back inside to talk to Joss, and maybe snag some food. </p><p>His hands are shaking again, this time with a confusing mixture of rage and guilt, furious at that sick fuck Harris for getting anywhere near his nephew, at himself for not being there for Randy, at the world for creating an environment where this shit happens.</p><p>But the guilt, God damn it, its the <em> guilt </em> that makes his knees weak, pins and needles tingling his fingers and toes. He tries so hard to hold it together, but it feels like his eyes have blurred and the only thing in focus is V.</p><p>And he can see every damned inch of her, clear as day. The shadows under her eyes, the barely there scar nicking the corner of her eyebrow, the light dusting of freckles scattered across her nose.</p><p>The worry in her eyes when she makes eye contact with him.</p><p>She agrees to stay the night and tells Joss that "if anyone can find Randy, it's River. I've never seen anyone more capable than your brother. We'll find him, I promise. "</p><p>He's touched in a way that he can't explain, but overwhelmed by all the thoughts in his head, and the way life seems to be trying to pull him in so many different directions all at once. He makes sure V is OK, and then sets off to the water tower to try and stop his brain from overloading.</p><p>He hears her leave the trailer behind him, begs the universe for her to not follow, and breathes a sigh of relief when he hears her trudge up the steps into Randy's trailer.</p><p>_</p><p>He's been staring out over the Night City skyline for maybe half an hour when he hears V come out of the trailer, muttering to herself crankily.</p><p>She's still wearing her cargo pants, but she's stripped her jacket and shirt, leaving her in a black sports bra, her bare feet poking out from her too long pants. She sits on the stairs and lights up a cigarette, speaking harshly and animatedly; River assumes that she's on a call.</p><p>Her body language is agitated and aggressive, and River thinks he should look away, give her some privacy, but he can't. For some reason, he is transfixed by the way she points her finger into nothing as if she might wound someone with the motion, and the way the fight rapidly drains from her, leaving her holding her head as she finishes the smoke. She rubs her temples, and weakly finishes her conversation, gets up and pads back inside, disappearing into the trailer.</p><p>River stays seated on the edge of the water tower and thinks. He thinks about Randy, and that sick fuck Harris, and how he'll make it up to his nephew when -he won't let himself think "if"- he brings him home. He thinks about Joss and how maybe bringing Randy home will help fix their relationship, help her not see him as a failure, as a coward, as that little boy holding the gun. He thinks about his mother, her eyes wide and cheeks tear stained.</p><p>He thinks about how he failed as a cop, how he couldn't even see the corruption in his own partner, how he almost got V killed to find out the truth.</p><p>He thinks about V. The way his stomach drops and clenches almost unbearably every time he thinks about that anguished scream, or pictures her on the floor, seizing and crying out.</p><p>He thinks about what that feeling means, how deeply <em>fucked</em> he already is.</p><p>He thinks about whether they have any chance of being something more than friends, thinks about if they even really <em>are</em> friends, thinks about her skin glowing in the moonlight, and her feet poking out from her cargo pants. He thinks about what it would feel like to kiss her, to let his lips press against hers, so soft and sweet.</p><p>He thinks about her moaning, writhing underneath him as he buries himself in her, cock twitching in the warm, wet heat of her cunt. He thinks about how she would look beautiful on top of him, riding him, his hands grasping harshly at her hips as he fucked up into her. She'd ride him hard, he just knows it, her pussy clenching as his hand slithers up her body to settle on her throat, squeezing gently.</p><p>Her wanton moan echoes through his head and seeps into his bones. He thrusts harder.</p><p>He is jolted awake by a message from Yawen, and he shakes himself back to reality. He's still on top of the water tower, but now he's aching and hard in his leather pants.</p><p>The message from Yawen comes with a warning about how the BDs have the potential to be uncomfortable, and this has him quickly refocusing on his hunt. Yawen tried to understand everyone, see the best in them, find reasoning for their behaviour. Harris must be twisted to all hell. River slides down the ladder, running to Randy's trailer to wake up V. She grumbles about not enough sleep and he quickly checks the time -shit, 2am, no wonder she looks so exhausted- and he quickly explains that he's got the BDs from Yawen and she snaps into action, slipping her BD scroller onto her head and diving in.</p><p>They sort through it together, and she sees things he never would have, and not just thanks to her implants. She really is incredibly intelligent, and River swells with pride and affection at her ability to see things others would miss, to put together pieces of the puzzle, making links and connections between seemingly unrelated details.</p><p>Fleetingly, he thinks that she would have made a great detective.</p><p>They are both revolted at how creepy and disgusting Harris is, and the awful shit that he's done. Guilt and rage war within him, and River doesn't know if he'll survive if Randy isn't… <em> don't finish that thought. You are </em> <b> <em>not allowed</em> </b> <em> to think that. </em></p><p>They get a location of Edgewood farm, and he feels something click into place, feels like <em> this is <strong>it</strong> </em>. She tugs on her shirt and grabs her boots and they're jumping into his truck.</p><p>"You right to drive?" She asks, hurriedly. She's pale, almost shaking, but River doesn't know how to help her when the blood in his veins is liquid fire and his hands shake with rage.</p><p>He ignores her query, praying that Randy is alright, that they're in time. Guilt is crushing him, the signs were all there and he didn't see them.</p><p>
  <em> How could he not see it? </em>
</p><p>V tries to talk him down, to reassure him, but he knows the truth. He was too focussed on work, on "taking down the bad guys", to see that his nephew needed him. That the bad guys were in his home, yet again.</p><p>
  <em> His mother's eyes stare at him, clear and accusing. </em>
</p><p>If he doesn't get Randy back alive, he doesn't know what he'll do.</p><p>V lets him rant, slamming his hands on the wheel, as the inferno inside him flares and lashes out, before she rests her hand on his forearm again, soothing the frayed edges of his nerves, not dousing the fury but giving it direction, helping him focus.</p><p>They were going to get Randy back. They would get him back <b>alive</b>.</p><p>_</p><p>V is sitting off to the side while he deals with Trauma Team and the NCPD after they've cleared out the barn.</p><p>Without the rage, all that is left is disgust and self loathing. Randy is alive, and River knows he should feel relief, but he just feels… unsteady.</p><p>The mission is… incomplete… unfinished.</p><p>Harris is still alive, and even the thought tastes foul in his mouth.</p><p>
  <em> He has to die. </em>
</p><p>He sits with V while they attach Randy to machines and carefully move him from the barn to the transport. He tries to explain that life cannot continue while that piece of trash draws breath.</p><p>V argues that he isn't really alive anymore, and it isn't worth the risk. Anything that made him Harris is gone now. Reminds him of all the things that <em> are </em> in his life now, his duty to Joss and Monique and Dorian.</p><p>
  <em> What about my duty to Randy? </em>
</p><p>She tells him not to do anything rash, but that she is always, <em> always </em>, there for him. She touches his hand, leaning in close, eyes locked on his.</p><p>"No matter the issue" she says in a voice that let's him know that she will pull him out of any fire he lands himself in.</p><p><em> He wants to burn just so she will hold him closer </em>.</p><p>The trauma team medic calls for him, and she makes him promise to keep in touch, to keep her updated.</p><p>He stands, goes to move towards the transport, but then she tugs his hand, making him turn, and she is pulling herself against him, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing.</p><p>He is an inferno, blazing, burning, brighter than the sun. She lets him go and walks away without looking back.</p><p>The warmth leaves with her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Litost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SMUT WARNING. Prepare for smutty smut smut.</p><p>This is so much longer than it was supposed to be, and this is the third version, and I'm so sorry, it's basically just the last mission, expanded a bit, and just ugh, I'm so sorry.<br/>Thank you for reading and kudos and being so beautiful and lovely &lt;3<br/>I hope you enjoy it?! :)</p><p>Chapter title from 'Litost' by X Ambassadors, which is an oddly fitting song, particularly for what V expects will happen, but not what is going to happen for our V.</p><p>(shout out to my boyfriend who will probably read this.... hey boo...)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following four days are a whirlwind of activity, and River is so busy he doesn't even have time to think. With no job to call him away, Joss sees no reason for them to not work on their relationship. River doesn't disagree, and they work hard at rebuilding it, but it is easier than they think. </p><p>River spends most days with the kids, feeding them and playing with them and generally keeping them entertained while Joss is at the hospital. On days when Joss is home, he potters around the trailer, fixing this and that, tinkering with odds and ends. He isn’t exactly the craftiest guy, but he can fix wiring -with some help from tutorials- and basic issues, and he can do routine maintenance and cleaning. He works on his truck a bit too, but Monique and Dorian insist on crawling on him or around him most of the time, so it isn’t easy.</p><p>He isn’t bothered in the slightest.</p><p>He talks to people he used to know on the force who have also left and thinks about options for him now. He doesn’t want to go back, not really. He enjoys the free time, if he’s being honest, and he loves being with his family, but he does feel a bit directionless, like he’s floating in time and space, and he knows he needs purpose.</p><p>V shoots him a few messages, and while he doesn’t have enough time to properly respond, he manages to put together distracted and half thought out replies. Mostly he sends pictures of the kids, or whatever project he’s working on at the time - she always comments on what he’s doing - mostly telling him he’s doing it wrong.</p><p>He misses her, more than he expected.</p><p>When he sleeps, he mostly dreams of V. Sometimes it’s just about being close to her, being able to spend time with her, and when he wakes he can still feel the remnants of her warmth and light. Sometimes his dreams are filthy and when he wakes his dick is hard and begging for attention. He doesn't want to disrespect his friend, so he takes a lot of cold showers, denying himself as much as possible. He's had enough guilt over the past month to last a lifetime, he would rather not feel disgusted at himself right now, when he has every reason to feel lighter than he has in years.</p><p>The first day Randy is awake and cognisant enough for the doctors to allow them all to visit, he asks questions about how they found him. River <em>feels</em> Joss look at him sideways when he talks about how V did most of the work. He tells the story like one of the crime novels he reads, the way he used to tell bedtime stories, and he can tell from the way Joss smiles at him knowingly that he speaks about V with something kin to worship in his voice.</p><p>On one of the slower days, when Joss is at home for most of the day while Randy needs rest, River finds a moment to slip away, uses his contacts to find Anthony Harris, and then stares at him for long minutes that more closely resemble lifetimes, hand clenching and unclenching around the pistol in his hand.</p><p>He slips out the door unnoticed.</p><p>The decision feels both right and wrong in a way that makes him stumble around the city for four hours before heading home.</p><p>He doesn’t remember where he walked or what he did.</p><p>He gets home and Joss is half asleep on the couch, kids curled around her. His heart jump starts again and he feels lighter. He gently scoops the kids up, tucking them into their beds and kissing their foreheads softly. He stumbles back into the living room to find Joss blinking at him sleepily, a soft easy smile curling her lips. She looks younger, and for just a moment, River is a child again, staring at his sister with pride and affection.</p><p>“You gonna tuck me in too?” she asks, her voice thick with exhaustion. River snorts quietly and scoops her up, just like the kids. He carries her carefully to her bedroom, depositing her carefully in her bed, tucking her in gently. She huffs a laugh, rolling her eyes and yawning.</p><p>“You’re a good brother, Riv. ‘m really glad you’re here”</p><p>His smile is something he cannot contain, but it is soft and genuine, his heart warming at her words, “Me too, Joss, me too”.</p><p>He sleeps easy that night.</p><p>_</p><p>He sits with Randy as the detectives take his statement, and waits at the door as the psychiatrist assesses his mental state. Randy asked for him specifically, and he’ll be damned if anything gets between him and his nephew. Once the officials are all gone, and Joss and River are allowed back in the room, Randy asks for River to tell him again about how he found him - his memory is dodgy and he’s struggling, a side effect from all the shit pumped into his system. He asks specifically about V.</p><p>Joss smiles widely, "I'll tell her you say thanks, and let her know you're awake. Maybe she'll have some time to visit. I'm sure <b>someone</b> can convince her" she looks at River with a raised eyebrow, and he ignores the flutter in his chest.</p><p>He tells Randy the story again anyway.</p><p>_</p><p>They're on the way home that night when Joss turns on him, "You're allowed to like her, you know. You’re allowed to be happy"</p><p>For about half a second, he thinks about playing dumb, but he knows it wouldn’t work. He’s been too obvious, and Joss has been dropping too many hints. So he settles on honesty.</p><p>"I know Joss, trust me, I know," he sighs, "it's less about that and more about whether she’s even interested. She's got a lot on her plate, and something tells me she's holding something back"</p><p>Joss looks at him with a flat face, “Have you actually <b>talked </b>to her about it?”</p><p>“I mean... not <em> technically </em> ... but I’m a cop, Joss, I just <em> know </em>these things” it sounds weak even to him. He feels like a moron.</p><p>Joss scoffs, “You are <em> such </em> a moron. Stop assuming you’ve got some kind of weird cop omnipotence,” she’s wiggling her fingers, and it makes River feel two inches tall, “and <b>actually talk to her</b> . Invite her over for dinner tomorrow. You can make Jambalaya. It’ll be a nice family dinner, I can thank her for all her help with Randy, and you can <b>talk </b>to her. Then I can bring the leftovers to Randy, that'll cheer him up.”</p><p>River snorts and raises an eyebrow, “Is this a request, or an order?”</p><p>“<em> What do you think? </em>” she snaps indignantly.</p><p>Silence for a moment, then: “I’ll call her tomorrow”</p><p>Joss rolls her eyes but nods, just once, and it’s settled.</p><p>_</p><p>He’s been staring at the ceiling for at least ten minutes, unwilling to get out of bed. If he gets out of bed, that means Joss will be on him to take the kids to the grocery store to get the ingredients for Jambalaya, and then she’ll be on him to call V and invite her over.</p><p>He’s... nervous.</p><p>He hates admitting it, even to himself, but he’s nervous. There are so many ways this could go wrong, and if he thinks about it enough, he’s pretty sure that his little crush on the merc has developed into something bigger than a crush. It’s stupid, dangerous, and he’s probably just going to get hurt, but he’s a little bit in love with V.</p><p>There. He admitted it... at least to himself.</p><p>He sits up, drifting from staring at the ceiling to staring at himself in the mirror, and he watches himself heave out a sigh. Then he gets up, gets dressed and gets ready for the day.</p><p>It’s been two days since his last message from V, but he supposes that she’s probably as busy as he is. He shoots her a message telling her to let him know when she has a minute to talk about something not urgent or important, and he moves into the hallway, scooping Dorian up and making him fly like a plane, and tells Joss he’s headed out. She smiles at him, really smiles, and tells him to have fun.</p><p>_</p><p>The kids are great while he's shopping, so he buys them ice cream before taking them home. V messages him back saying to call whenever he wants. He waits until he's pulled up at home and let the kids out. Then he leans against the truck, takes a deep breath, and calls her.</p><p>She answers on the first ring, her entire face lit up with a grin "My favourite, busiest friend! How can I- <em> no, Panam </em> , you're my <em> best </em> friend, not my <em> favourite </em> friend, you <b>dope</b>"</p><p>River blinks, hearing more voices in the background, getting louder, "uhh… V?"</p><p>"<b>Shit</b> ! Fuck <em> off </em> Panam!" A scuffle, V is throwing herself into what looks like a car, and then a bang echoes as she jerks the door shut "River? Sorry! <em> Sorry </em> , I'm here now. <b>Yeesh</b>, you spend four days with someone and they think they're the best thing that ever happened to you. I've locked myself in the car now, so I'm safe and all yours, River" She's talking a mile a minute, but she sounds happy, and she hasn’t stopped smiling.</p><p>"You had to lock yourself in a car to talk to me?" He asks, even though all he wants is for her to repeat that she's 'all his' again, and again, and <em> again </em>.</p><p>She laughs at him as she settles into the seat sideways, leaning her back against the door, "Panam has very little idea of privacy, and I've been indulging her a little too much the past few weeks, so I have to fend her off with locked doors, otherwise she would spend the entire time asking what you were saying and what was going on, saying it's her right, as my best friend, to know everyone I know"</p><p>"She sounds… interesting"</p><p>Another laugh, "I promise, she is. I'll introduce you two someday… maybe… probably not, it's a bad idea, everyone falls in love with her," he hears banging and a muffled voice screeching 'not true’ before another bang and V is yelling again, "<em> it is too true </em> , now go fuck Saul and let me have my conversation in peace!” the background screeching turns indignant, “This is why River is my favourite, you <em>hot tamale</em>!" More indignant screeching in the background which slowly fades away. River just laughs, enjoying the easy playfulness V has returned to.</p><p>"It's really nice to see you so happy, V" his chest swells as he says it, and he feels almost giddy with light hearted joy.</p><p>She focuses back on him, and her smile softens but stays as genuine "it's nice to see you so relaxed, River, like maybe you have been getting some sleep" she snickers, "is this just a social call, or did you want to talk about something?"</p><p>Is it just him, or does she sound hopeful?</p><p>"Oh, right, I wanted to invite you around to Joss's, for dinner tonight. We'd… <strong>I'd</strong> love it if you swung by"</p><p>Is he…. Is he blushing? Is that what he’s feeling? When was the last time he blushed? He's so amazed by the phenomenon that he almost misses her response.</p><p>"Here I thought you'd forgotten about little old me" She's teasing him, her voice full of laughter.</p><p>"Forgotten about you? Never, V, never. Just been swamped. Randy's still in the hospital and it's all hands on deck around here"</p><p>"Relax, River, you don't need to explain. I get it" She's soft, so soft and sweet it sends tingles up River's spine. </p><p>"Right. So, you gonna stop by, or you gonna make me grovel?"</p><p>A sweet, delighted chuckle, and her eyes glow with laughter, "it'll be great to see you," he watches as she flushes and she inhales sharply, "I, I mean, you guys, all you guys. Joss and Monique and Dorian and… and you know…you" is she panicking? Covering up that she is excited to see <b>him </b>specifically?</p><p>River is beaming, he can’t help himself, "Prime!" he drags it out, for some reason he does not, <em>for the life of him</em>, understand, and sounds like an absolute gonk. He barely refrains smacking his hand to his forehead, "Joss'll be thrilled!"</p><p>
  <em> Oh god, just shut up, you need to shut up. </em>
</p><p>"Sounds great!" She forces out, with a strained smile pulling on her face.</p><p>Maybe Joss was right, maybe they just need to talk about it… maybe there was a chance for them. Maybe he needs to take a leap of faith here.</p><p>"I've… I've missed you, y'know?"</p><p>He holds his breath.</p><p>The tension drains from her and she sighs softly, almost sadly, "I've actually missed you too, River"</p><p>He knows that whatever she's holding back is weighing on her now, and he hopes she doesn't dwell on it too much, "I'll see you at Joss's?" He asks it as a question, giving her an out.</p><p>"I'll see you at Joss's" a tentative smile, her eyes slightly crinkled.</p><p>"Perfect! Till then… then?" He cringes and hangs up quickly, before he can embarrass himself more.</p><p>_</p><p>He plays with Dorian and Monique, promises to play with them again later, plans how the conversation with V will go tonight, helps Joss tidy up the place, tries to work out a little bit, plans a bit more while he’s beating on the punching bag, wastes as much time as possible until finally, <em> finally </em>, it’s time to start cooking. He’s made a decent headway when he hears her bike purring as it comes around the corner. She parks it next to his truck and he watches as Monique and Dorian run up to her. She greets them excitedly, listening as they drag her around and show her the toys they have outside.</p><p>She’s wearing a soft pink and blue cropped sweater, a pair of pink athletic shorts and white sneakers. Her hair is almost white, with only the barest hint of teal, and it’s cropped just below her ears, pulled over to one side. She runs her hand through it, ruffling it before sliding it back again. Her skin is darker, cheeks a little bit sunburnt, she has a sunglass tan around her eyes, and her bike has been freshly washed.</p><p>He tries to not seem too over eager, so he focuses on cooking -ignoring the way she stands by the stairs to Randy’s trailer for a minute or two after the kids leave her alone- and chops and stirs.</p><p>And then she’s there, and he’s almost too happy, and they’re bantering and laughing and joking. </p><p>“Hey, hey, stir!”</p><p>“I’m stirring! <em>I’m stirring</em>!!”</p><p>It’s so simple, and it feels so right. She asks about Randy, and he tells her that he wants to meet her - she’s more than eager to meet him too - and then she asks about Harris, and he stutters and tells her they’ll talk about it later.</p><p>He catches her up on what she’s missed, she tells him of her recent adventures with the Aldecaldos and Panam, which explains the new tan and freshly washed bike.</p><p>He sends her inside for the rice, and she’s gone for longer than he expects so he assumes she ran into Joss.</p><p><em> Dear god please do not let Joss embarrass him </em>.</p><p>She comes back out with a massive smile on her face and a faint pink tinge to her cheeks.</p><p>
  <em> Great, Joss definitely embarrassed him. </em>
</p><p>She throws the rice in after he throws in the tomatoes, and then he guides her to the porch.</p><p>River tells her about how he stared at Harris, but didn't kill him, then takes a deep, fortifying breath and tells her about his parents, opening himself up for her in the most vulnerable way he knows. She takes it in, no judgement in her voice or face, just empathy and understanding. She just takes it in, and tells him that she’s sorry he had to go through that, and he’s more grateful to her for not faking platitudes or telling him it wasn’t his fault. Just accepts it, understands it.</p><p>He falls a little bit deeper.</p><p>He’s telling her about the option of becoming a PI instead of going back to the force when the kids remind him of his promise to play with them. He’s laughing at how eager she is to play with them, and how<em> into it </em> she gets, making the kids explain what’s going on - with guidance from himself, of course - and she’s giggling when they run off ahead of them. She shoots wildly, never hitting the targets, and he does the same. They really sell that they’re trying, but mostly they just fall over each other and laugh. She spends a lot of time behind him, which he finds curious because she’s always been the one to lead. When Joss interrupts the game, he’s laughing and thanking her for letting them win.</p><p>“I genuinely tried, believe me, but,” she’s smirking deviously, walking backwards towards the dinner table, “I just got distracted by <em>the</em> <em> view </em>” she winks and spins around, giggling as she jogs to the dinner table, right behind the kids.</p><p>He’s blushing again;<em> so t</em> <em> <em>hat’s</em> why she was behind me the entire time... Huh. </em></p><p>His stomach flips and he can’t help the way his smile almost splits his face in two. The kids are crowing their victory to Joss, and V is sitting in her seat, smirking knowingly. Joss and V talk, River contributing minimally, and then Joss asks about whether V has a family or not. V tries desperately not to let it show, but pain flickers across her face.</p><p>“I uhh, I…” she coughs, trying to clear her throat, “I recently lost the only family I had, so I’m…” she looks at him shyly, before flicking back to Joss, “I guess I’m rebuilding it as I go. But I’ve always loved the idea of family, always wanted one”</p><p>Joss thanks her for bringing hers back together. Then she says “and my brother likes you” and River actually wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He rubs his face with one hand.</p><p>
  <em> What happened to tact?! </em>
</p><p>But V is snorting, wiping food from the corner of her mouth with her knuckle and cracking a joke about him paying her to say it, until her smile is losing a bit of its ease and she asks Joss if she really sees wedding bells in her future.</p><p>“Why not?” Joss shrugs, and before V can respond, Monique is piping up.</p><p>“Who thinks V and Uncle River make a good couple?!” Dorian, Joss and Monique all shoot their hands up.</p><p>A sweet chuckle escapes from V, and her hand is raised, “I do” she laughs.</p><p>His head snaps up and she’s beaming at him, sending his heart soaring. He shoots up and out of his chair, basically dragging a laughing V away from his embarrassing family before they can say anything else to make V change her mind. They joke back and forward as he guides her to the water tower, and he tells her that it’s great for <em> “the views” </em>. The gate is stuck, and he offers to boost her over so she can open it.</p><p>She looking at him pointedly and she agrees, “On the one condition that you don’t sneak a peek when you’re throwing me over”</p><p>He desperately wants to know, almost <em> needs </em>to know, but he promises to be respectful. After she's pushed the gate open she asks him if he peeked. He pink swears that he didn't.</p><p>"Good, because I'm not wearing any panties"</p><p>He processes that for a moment, staring at her blankly. Her head is thrown back and she is howling with laughter. <em>Yeah, he's going to die tonight</em>. He takes three deep breaths and then continues on to the water tower.</p><p>They talk all the way up the tower, about the area and Randy’s old man, and Randy, and it’s easy. When she crawls up the ladder behind him she winces, as if in pain, pushing her palms into her eyes, “agh, <em> shit </em>” she growls out.</p><p>“You okay?!” he shoots forward, squeezing her arms in concern.</p><p>She takes a few deep breaths, before shaking her head quickly and rolling her shoulders as she pulls her hands away from her eyes. She tries to give him a smile but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, “Yeah, sorry, new tech in my head and it’s not playing nice. It’s fine, it’s already fading”. </p><p>He raises an eyebrow at her, but then she laughs it off, moving towards the edge of the water tower, “I promise, River, I’m fine. This view is more than enough to make me feel better”. He watches her closely but she seems to be OK, even though he knows she’s lying. He moves next to her and sits down, warmth flooding him when she chooses to sit so close to him that their thighs touch. He gives her his pistol, the one he almost killed Harris with, and she is genuinely touched. Then he jokes about Joss’s husband and the foot incident. She laughs, really laughs, and he’s so lost in her beauty that he forgets everything else.</p><p>The curve of her cheek, the dimples that appear as she laughs, the way she throws her head back and doesn't try to be quiet, one hand coming to rest on his thigh as she tries to calm down.</p><p>The sparkle in her eyes as her roaring laughter settles to soft, breathy chuckles.</p><p>His mouth operates independently from his brain, and he’s talking before he’s even aware of it, “Alright V, you know why we’re here, don’t ya? Say you do. Please, don’t string me along” his voice is almost pathetic, he thinks, but she’s biting her lip to keep from smiling again, so it mustn’t be so bad.</p><p>“That’s the line you settled on?” she jokes, smile breaking through and nose crinkling as she bites her tongue to stop from laughing.</p><p>
  <em> She is so damn beautiful. </em>
</p><p>He plays along as she tells him the worse pick up lines she’s had, and by god they are bad. He’s ashamed of his own gender, and he’s laughing at their expense, and V is glowing with mirth and joy. He tells her about the 'sexy calves' incident, and they laugh a little, before she sobers a little bit. He turns in, pulling closer to her, and she mirrors him. Her position was so similar and so different to that first time they met in the diner.</p><p>“I see what you’re doing, River” she’s soft now, almost hesitant, but she doesn’t pull away.</p><p>“And how <em>am</em> I doin’? Do I stand a chance?” he’s nervous, but he needs to know. Can’t beat around the bush anymore.</p><p>Her eyes are excited and tormented all at once, a sad smile twisting at her lips, “Just don’t fall in love with me” she says, and her voice aches with regret and pain.</p><p>River focuses entirely on her, the way she’s looking at her from under her lashes, locked on him as if she couldn’t look away even if she wanted to. The curve of her lips, the faintest of flushes painting her cheeks ever so slightly pink underneath the sunburn. That scar on her eyebrow, the smattering of freckles. He takes it all in, wonderstruck, heart pounding.</p><p>“Too late, V,” he’s smiling as he says it, knowing that even if this is oblivion, he’s a happy man by her side, “Too late”.</p><p>Her eyes open wide, flickering between anger, pain and joy so quick that River doesn’t know if <em> she </em>knows what she’s feeling. Sadness settles on her flushed face, and she almost looks pained when she leans in to him, kissing him desperately.</p><p>Her lips are soft but jarring in their insistence, and she’s crawling into his lap with frantic, desperate movements. His arms wrap around her and he’s pulling her as close as he possibly can as their lips move and slide together. She rolls her hips against his and her tongue is glossing over his lips as he moans. His tongue flicks out and joins her tentatively until it’s her turn to moan and then his insides are <b>roaring</b>, blood pumping so hard that the only thing he can hear is their moans and pants as their bodies grind together.</p><p>“Take me inside?” she’s asking as if there was any other way this could end, her voice breathless and hoarse, and it rips a growl from his chest. His hands drop to cup her ass, and he spins so that he can get up - she’s reading his mind and standing up too. They both slide down the ladder, and he’s pushing her up against the metal of the tank after the first ladder. One of her legs is hiked up around his waist and he’s grinding against her, dick so hard that he <em> aches </em> , shivers running up his spine at the <strong>filthy</strong>moans escaping from her slack jaw. Then she’s pushing him away and sliding down the next ladder. They try and keep their hands off of each other once they’re on the ground and he closes the gate behind them carefully, before she’s grabbing his hand and he’s pulling her closer, desperate to have his lips on her again.</p><p>She’s kissing him eagerly, tugging him closer, and then she’s pushing him up against a wall - <em> Randy’s trailer, shit </em>- and her hands are sliding up under his shirt, clawing down his chest. He’s groaning at the sensation, surging forward to kiss her again, but she holds him back with ease, fingernails trailing over his stomach. His back is arching, hips rutting forward as she’s undoing his belt and she’s about to slip her hand into his pants.</p><p>A wolf whistle and a crude snicker has her pressing her body up against his, both of them looking at the two laughing strangers walking past. V laughs it off, River snorting, she’s walking backwards away from him, and he’s following her.</p><p>He’s so desperate, he wants her <em> so badly </em>.</p><p>“You look like you’re ready to devour me” she purrs, her voice sending his already frazzled brain further into overdrive.</p><p>“Gonna do more than devour, sweetheart” he growls back, towering over her and pulling her close, claiming her lips again. He crowds her against the door to the main trailer, forcing her to tilt her head back to look at him. Her lips are already swollen and slick with their spit, her pupils are blown wide and her eyes half lidded. He groans as she bites her lip, pushing against her to lick and kiss and nip up and down her neck, hoisting her leg up against his hip again so he can grind himself into her again.</p><p><em> He needs to hear her moan again, that sweet, delicious moan </em>.</p><p>“Need to,” she’s panting, “need to get inside, please,” her voice is thin and whiny, “<em> please, River </em>”</p><p>Another growl ripped from him. This woman is gonna kill him before he even gets to fuck her like he’s been dreaming of. He steps back, taking a bracing breath and she steps out of the way so he can open the door. He guides her down the hallway, pointing to the kids room and holding a finger to his lips to let her know they have to be at least partially quiet. His door squeaks as it opens, and they’re barely inside before her hands are holding his face and she’s kissing him again, lips moving deliberately and tongue sliding against his. He pushes the door gently shut, and then she shoves him against his desk. They’re a mess of hushed groans and grinding bodies. An empty bottle falls, and she jerks back to stare at it, until he’s reaching out to caress her cheek and guide her back to him. Her hands are under his shirt again, her nails trailing along his stomach and his head falls back as he tries to stifle the groan. She’s pushing his shirt up, and he fishes it up and over his head. Her eyes are flashing with want and she’s licking her lips as she looks him up and down.</p><p>A noise from the hallway, and River nods towards the bed as he moves to the door. He pokes his head out, checks to make sure the kids are still asleep, flicks the lights off, and closes the door again.</p><p>He turns around and he’s awestruck by the naked woman laying on his bed, trailing her hand seductively up and down her bare body. He thinks a breathy, awed chuckle escapes him.</p><p><em> I am so fucking lucky </em>.</p><p>She’s smirking as she sits up on her knees, reaching out to grab his hand and pull him closer, before she’s attacking his pants. He’s caressing her cheeks gently until she shoots him an impatient look. He chuckles silently and he undoes his pants with practiced ease, stepping out of them and letting her tug him down onto the bed. She crawls on top of him, obviously unable to wait any longer, and lines him up, guiding him into her. She slowly, <em> so slowly it almost hurts </em>, lowers herself onto him, and the wet, warm, tight head of her cunt overwhelms him with a heady, drunk feeling. He can feel her stretching to accommodate him, and it takes everything in him to stay still until she’s ready. As it is, he’s barely holding back the groans, instead letting his chest rumble with half growls. She lets out a moan when he’s fully seated in her, and he takes a moment to stroke her cheek lovingly. She leans into him, panting and blissed out, kissing the pad of his thumb.</p><p>“We go at your pace, when you’re ready” he tells her, and her eyes flutter open.</p><p>"What if I want you to fuck me brainless?" She flashes him a dangerous smirk, rolling her hips once, twice, three times, making him a clenching, rumbling mess, and then she’s riding him, <em> hard </em>, just as hard as he’s dreamed. His hands roam from her hips to her tits, pinching and flicking at her nipples, making her rhythm stutter as she hisses and keens. When his hands roam up further, one settling around her throat, and she tips her head back to give her more room, as if daring him to squeeze.</p><p>He does, and her cunt pulses tightly around him, <em> she's so close </em>, ripping moans from both of them.</p><p>A noise from the hallway, and his head jolts to look at the door as she stops.</p><p>She waits maybe two seconds before she's grabbing his face and forcing him to focus on her as she lifts herself up and drops harshly. The groans ripple from his chest, and she rolls her hips again, setting an even harsher pace than before, chasing her denied orgasm, clamping her hand over his mouth when he starts getting louder - he’s always been loud during sex, probably why he hasn’t bothered bringing anyone home in so long.</p><p>He wriggles out from under her hand, "Maybe if you promise to keep being quiet, I will".</p><p>He surges forward, picking her up with ease - for someone so strong, she’s so light - and kisses at her breasts, sucking and nipping at her nipples as he moves towards the window, setting her down when she twists in his arms impatiently. She turns around and rests her hands on the window - again like she can read his mind - and he smacks her ass once, not too hard but definitely not soft either.</p><p>Her head gets thrown back and she lets out a half strangled, breathy moan. Her back is curved perfectly, and River guides himself back into her again, allowing her mere seconds to adjust before setting a brutal, punishing pace.</p><p>She loves it, her body rippling with pleasure and she's arching her back further to allow him to slip deeper into her. One of his hands slithers up to settle at her throat, applying light pressure there, while he drops the other hand from her tits to smack her ass again, before grabbing hold of her hip to keep her in place against the brutal snap of his hips. She flutters around him and bites down on her lip, smothering the keening moan as her pussy clenches around him, and she's spiralling into her orgasm. He slows down, letting her ride out her orgasm on his cock, but he isn't done with her yet. She twists in his arms and her legs shake, so he lowers them to the ground, shimmying down to kiss her inner thighs before gently licking at her cunt. When she's panting and moaning again, he eats her out with vigour, tongue swiping and lapping at her, sucking at her clit. His slides two fingers into her and pumps them in and out until she's clawing at him, trying desperately to pull him back up.</p><p>He licks his lips as he crawls back up over her, lining himself up and driving his cock back into her wet heat, groaning at the sensation.</p><p>"I'm not gonna last much longer" he tells her, she bites her lip and nods. He tries to go slow, draw it out, but she fights him every step of the way, rising to meet him, legs wrapping around his waist and angling so he plunges deeper into her. He quickly loses control, balls tightening, thrusting faster, bringing his thumb up to circle her clit.</p><p>She's keening again, her moans getting higher and higher, and her walls flutter on his cock, and he knows she's close.</p><p>"<em>Come on, baby, cum on my dick again</em>" he growls out, his voice low and throaty. She lets out a strangled scream and he falls forward to swallow her moans. Her cunt tightens around him, and she's so tight, so wet, that he comes undone, biting into her neck softly to muffle his groan.</p><p>He collapses next to her, rolling onto his back and catching his breath. She caresses his face, and snuggles into him, pressing gentle, soft kisses to his chest and shoulder. As the sweat cools on their skin, she starts to shiver, pressing closer to him to try and steal his warmth, and he knows he has to get her into bed.</p><p>He sits up, standing up with a bit of difficulty - his legs are a bit shaky - and he leans down to pick her up. She wraps her arms around his neck and lets him gently hoist her up, carrying her to the bed and safely depositing her in it before collapsing next to her and wrapping himself around her, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her shoulder.</p><p>"Night River" she mumbles sleepily.</p><p>"Sweet dreams V"</p><p>"It's Valerie…. my name is Valerie" she yawns, snuggling in closer to him.</p><p>"Sweet dreams Valerie" his eyes drift close as she hums in contentment.</p><p>"Only wake me up if you wanna go again"</p><p>"Yes ma'am".</p><p>_</p><p>She wakes him up three times throughout the night, and by the time she's satiated, both his back and stomach are covered in red claw marks, and his neck in mouth shaped bruises. Her hips have his hand prints, and her neck a very clear bite mark.</p><p>They're both completely fucked out and blissed, and they fall asleep in a tangle of limbs as the sun rises, content.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Physical Fatality | Put on a show</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so, so much for all your beautiful comments and kudos. Your support is so heart warming, it is insane!<br/>As you may notice, the chapter count has gone from 4 to 6, because I cannot stop myself, and I wanted to write more, so I'm going to!</p><p>Smut warning, again, because this was supposed to be soft and fluffy, but I'm impossible and it always just... happens.</p><p>Chapter title from 'Heaven in Hiding' by Halsey - the song that the whole fic is named for.</p><p>Enjoy!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The week after they agreed to try at a relationship was a heady mix of dirty messages, midnight calls, and late night rendezvous that tested the limits of Rivers’ stamina. During the day they were both fairly busy, River with Randy getting discharged from hospital and getting the trailer up to scratch, and V with… well, whatever the hell she was doing about that chip in her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And her apparent suicide mission to single handedly fix every problem in Night City.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They messaged back and forth with ease. He sent pictures of the kids and him playing, of Randy settling back in at home, of the things he was tinkering with - with less and less things for V to tell him he was doing wrong - and the new recipes he was trying. She told him about the crazy crap she was doing, helping cyberpsychos, fixing roller coasters, scouting out corpo buildings, taking out gangoons and rescuing hostages. The messages were mostly tame, but neither could stop from flirting, almost constantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And at night? Oh, at night it was </span>
  <b>Game On</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes V was sneaking around or beating on corporations - things that she preferred </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to tell River about - and they simply messaged back and forth, talking about all the things they were going to do to each other later, all the ways they would drive the other crazy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes V rocked up at his trailer - always sometime between midnight and three AM - and they fucked like teenagers - on the water tower, in his truck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>on</span>
  </em>
  <span> his truck, against the gate to the water tower, on every surface in his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was chaotic and wild and it set River alight with ecstasy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hummed as he pottered around the house, as he set up the last few details for his PI work, played with the kids more, and was “disgustingly” upbeat and optimistic with Randy. Randy thought it was nauseating and rolled his eyes a lot, but River also caught him grinning at him when he thought he wouldn’t get caught and took this as approval. Joss thought it was delightful and teased River relentlessly, which River is pretty sure he took in stride rather well, while Monique and Dorian just wanted V to spend more time playing with them, though they both claimed responsibility for V and River dating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cleared out space for her in his room, offered it to her, and she lit up brighter than the NC skyline. When she arrived at his the next night, she brought a box of her things with her, and turned to him with a devious look in her eyes that ended up with him hauling her up his body so that he could eat her out up against the window, her legs wrapped around his head and her hands desperately trying to find purchase on the roof while her ass pushed up against the cold of the glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked about going to her apartment, mostly just so they could be as loud as they wanted, but it was always decided they would meet at his, for one reason or another. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mostly, V left before the sun rose, but River didn’t mind… too much. He understood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t like to talk about Johnny, or the chip, or Arasaka, so he didn’t push too hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She showed her appreciation in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>multitude</span>
  </em>
  <span> of ways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River is helping Randy do a complete clean out of his trailer when she calls. It’s early afternoon, and River can’t help the way excitement bubbles up in him at the idea of her coming around just to hang out. He gets Randy’s attention and indicates he’s going to step out, pointing at his head to explain - Randy just rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey babe” he’s smiling, beaming really, and he knows his voice betrays him, as he leans against the railing, watching the rain start to wet the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Riv” she sounds weary down to her bones, and it isn’t feeding through video. He hears her bike purring in the background, as well as heavy rain on her end. He’s immediately concerned, straightening up, knuckles tightening on the railing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighs, “I’m just… no. I don't think...,” her voice wobbles, “Can I… can I come see you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"V, you know you don't have to ask, what's going on?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I… I…" her breath stutters and he can tell - </span>
  <em>
    <span>feels it in his bones </span>
  </em>
  <span>- that she's barely holding back, barely holding on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"V, its OK, you're OK, I'm right here, come back to me, V, I’ll look after you"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She takes a few deep, steadying breaths, and then she's back in control "okay. I'm on my way. Be there in in 30"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be here. Do you wanna stay on the phone with me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No Riv, no, I'm… I'm okay. I'll see you soon"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hangs up, and he can't help the worry that flutters through him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rain falls heavier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watches as she pulls up, the rain absolutely pouring down now, and she lays her head on the handlebars while her hands dig around her pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is drenched through, her lilac hair clinging to the nape of her neck as water pours in rivulets down her skin. Her hands still in her pockets, she heaves a sigh, and then she pulls the cigarette up to her mouth, straightening up so she can cover it while she lights it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can see the black eye from here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps into the rain, calmly moving towards her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(He hopes he looks calm, instead of stalking towards her.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She swings her leg over the bike and leans against it as she draws heavily from the smoke. She looks up as he gets near, takes one last deep draw, and then throws it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes are red rimmed, she looks soaked to the bone, her nose is glowing red and her cheeks are splotchy. Her lip is split, there's a gash above her eyebrow - not the one nicked by a scar - and her nose has been broken and set. That bruise is only just starting to blossom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winds his arms around her, carefully pulling her close, at the same time as her hands wind their way up to rest lamely on his chest. She looks up at him, leaning her head back to properly look at him, but he leans forward to rest his forehead to her sopping one. Her eyes flutter shut and her breathing is ragged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's get you inside and dry, hey?" He keeps his voice soft and even, feeling the tension crackling around her. She nods, her bottom lip wobbling, starting to pull away so they can move under cover, he is quicker, though, and slips his hands under her backside and lifts her up, tugging her against him carefully so he can carry her inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's gotten used to hauling her around, her weight is comfortable in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A relieved sigh escapes her as she snuggles her battered face against his neck, relaxing in his arms. He takes her straight to the bathroom, gently setting her down in the middle of the room. He slowly takes one piece of clothing off at a time, peeling layers off of her as the goose bumps erupt over her body and the shivers take hold. He starts the shower for her, steam billowing from the water. He helps her step in, frowning as she leans up against the wall under the spray, and quickly undressing so he can stand with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He washes her hair for her, softly massaging shampoo and conditioner through her hair, before gently lathering her with soap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She relaxes against him, trusting him implicitly. He worries that she might start nodding off before he can get her dried off and safely settled in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rinses her off and quickly washes himself down before getting out and roughly drying himself - he missed his entire ride side somehow - before turning off the water and enveloping her in the largest, fluffiest towel he can find.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is ever so gentle as he dries her off, taking care to not miss a spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her soft, sleepy smile fills him from his head to his toes with an overwhelming sense of calm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once she is dry, he wraps her up and picks her up, bridal style this time, and carries her to his room, gently plopping her down on the bed. He goes to her drawers and pulls out some soft pastel pink sleep shorts and a cropped blue grey tank, and helps her pull them on, before sleeping into his sleep pants and laying down beside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lightly trails his fingers around her eye and across her nose, down to her split lip. Her eyes flutter closed again but she blinks them back open, letting them rest half lidded with exhaustion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cyberpsycho. But it’s not his fault. Got distracted, he caught me good," she yawns widely and winces, "Johnny saved me actually"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River was well aware of V’s opinion that cyberpsychos deserved understanding and empathy, not scorn, but he couldn’t really agree with her - he’d cleaned up too many massacres while on the force - but he was trying to see her point of view…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Trying</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did Johnny manage that?” His voice is tender as his fingers move to her shoulders and arms, trailing patterns, something he thought helped her sleep better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He took over, I checked out, pass-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He what?!” his voice cracked out of him, and he was vaguely aware that he tensed - his fingers stilling against her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blinked wearily at him, brows twitching as she recognised his concern, “He took over, just for a second - rolled my body out of the way”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s getting worse, V, you need to do something about this” the whole situation was so many kinds of fucked up, but the fact that Johnny could now </span>
  <em>
    <span>take control of her body</span>
  </em>
  <span> was a whole new level of fuckery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why the hell was she not freaking out?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed heavily, “It’s okay River, he only does it when I’m not fast enough or don’t see something”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had happened before, that was why she wasn’t freaking out. He had to calm down. Today wasn’t about him, today was about her. He closed his eyes for a moment and took three deep breaths. She obviously hadn’t told him everything about the chip and about Johnny, but he had to trust her. She had reasons for everything, and she knew what she was doing…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
  <b>Right</b>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(P</span>
  <em>
    <span>lease, God, let that be right. Let it all be alright.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, V. You know what you’re doing, I trust you to know what’s best”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She offered him a tiny, pitifully weary smile, “It’s fine Riv, honestly, everything is fine”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caressed her skin, working his way back up to her face so he could cup her cheek in his palm, “Okay V, if you say so. Just… let me look after you, okay? I just wanna look after you, Valerie”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This smile was more genuine, even if it was still overwhelmingly sleepy, “You’re doing great, Riv. Everything I need is right here,” she rested her palm over his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He melted, just a little bit. (</span>
  <em>
    <span>Just a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolled onto his back, curling her in next to him, letting her use his chest as a pillow, and exhaling in contentment when she snuggled in. He hummed to her, low and soft, tunes he remembered his mother humming to him when he was a child, and let his fingers caress her back lightly, tracing nonsensical patterns into her skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was asleep within minutes - River stared at his ceiling for hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point he must have drifted off and when he woke it was night. V was sitting next to him, hands roving over his chest aimlessly as she stared out the window. Her brows were furrowed and her face rolled through expressions as if she was having a conversation with someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Johnny</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t want to interrupt, so he just watched. Admired the way the moonlight made her glow, the way her face moved from annoyance to amusement so quickly. He loved her sassy lopsided smile, the way her nose crinkled when she was irritated, the way her eyes glowed with mirth when she was trying not to laugh. She winced when she went to bite her lip - something she did often - but when she turned to look down at him, she smiled at him tenderly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there Detective Ward”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips pulled into a smile even as his eyes rolled, “Good to see you’re feeling better”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her tender smile turned predatory and she rolled on top of him, straddling him easily, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Much</span>
  </em>
  <span> better”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For two seconds, River thought about letting her have this, giving in to her and letting it go, but the exhaustion in her face earlier, and the way she had seemed so empty and almost lifeless, that didn’t just go away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to get her to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he surged up, pressing his lips to hers urgently, deliberately pressing his body up against hers to make her think she’d won.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her shameless, breathless whimper almost made him give in, the grind of her hips against his almost unmanned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d had her so many times, but he was still desperate for her, and he didn’t think there would ever come a time when he wasn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his arms wrapped around her and then he heaved up, powerfully twisting their bodies so that she was trapped underneath him. Her breath hitched and she looked up at him with half lidded eyes that glowed with desire, her pupils almost overtaking her iris.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned, but pushed himself away from her, moving to sit next to her - amazing himself with his self restraint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” she purred as she pushed up onto one elbow, her voice velvet and wine, slipping through his bloodstream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should talk about what was going on with you earlier”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes narrowed, and she let out a harsh breath, “I was just tired. I am not now”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed, “you were more than tired, V,” she fell back against the bed, her eyes closing, “talk to me” his whisper was almost a beg, and he saw the anguish cross her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I, I” she stammered, her hands coming up to cover her face. River reached out, gently tugging her so that he could hold her against him, her back to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She twisted in his grip so that she was still sitting in his lap, but was laying across him, as if he were carrying her bridal style again, and rested her head on his chest, her palm resting on his heart again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have such a strong heartbeat,” she murmured, “it… it makes me feel so safe”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He holds her, his arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on her head, and he just holds her while he lets her decide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she starts to talk, her voice is soft and weary, drained of her usual energy and exuberance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My best friend died in my arms. Wasn’t even two months ago. Jackie was… Jackie was </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>to me. He was the family I never had, the best friend I never had, the one person on the whole fucking planet that was there for me, whenever I needed,” she’s close to tears, her voice wobbling, “He saved my life, more than once, when I thought for sure I was gonna flatline. And he did it all with zero expectations. He just saved me because we were friends, we were family… and when he died, god I felt so alone. I still have Vik and Misty, and Mama Welles will one hundred percent call me her daughter to anyone who listens, but… Jackie was… he was just the only one who knew me. Really </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shudders against him, curling in on herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... spoke… to a doctor who is an expert on the relic and he told me that the line between Johnny and me will blue and fade, until eventually we’re just… one person. Unless,” a harsh, humourless snort escapes her, “y’know, it kills me first. Which it probably will…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He runs one hand up and down her back, while the other just holds her legs to him. He doesn’t dare interrupt her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, yesterday, when I got knocked out, I just saw him. He was there, talking to me,” she lowers her voice to imitate the man, “‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>c’mon choom, time to get up! You got an ass to kick!’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and it just hit me, how much I fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>miss </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. How I’d be okay if…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her whole body is heaved by a shaky sigh and she shakes her head, “And it made me realise that I’ve hurt so many people to get here, and I’m going to hurt so many more if I keep going. If I manage to get this chip out of my head, then Johnny dies, again, and I’m hurting him and Rogue and I lose a friend. If I somehow die and Johnny takes over, that hurts Judy and Johnny and Panam and… and now you. I’m fucking hurting everyone no matter what happens. And just like with Jackie, I feel helpless, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River presses a kiss to her head, holding her closer, “It’s okay, you’ll find a way”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shakes her head, “That’s the thing, River, I don’t know if there </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>a way. I just… I wish I could go back to how it was… with Jackie and I running around and being gonks and doing small time shit. I just… I wish I could go back and tell him how much he meant to me and how he made everything better,” she’s crying now, tears slipping out down her cheeks, “and how he deserved the whole fuckin’ world”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She breaks down into sobs, achingly tortured sobs that wrack her entire body, and River pulls her closer as her fingers curl and she’s clawing against him, trying desperately to find some way to hold herself together. He doesn’t bother talking, knows that any platitude will fall as short and it did before, so he just rocks her softly, letting her cry it out, trying to soothe her as gently and tenderly as he knows how.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cries herself to sleep, and River holds her while she sleeps. He stares at her, watches as the anguish and heartache drop from her face until it’s left blank. Her eyes are puffy and her skin pale, but she seems lighter; at least her brows are unfurrowed, her jaw unclenched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>River hums as his eyes and fingers memorise her. He takes in the freckles, the scars, the way her eyelashes curl, the curve of her ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her in wonder, this woman who has taken on the weight of so much, guilt and rage and the hopes and dreams of so many people, and doesn’t want to disappoint them. She doesn’t want anyone to see how much she’s struggling, how close she’s coming to crumbling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How much she’s lost already and how she’s preparing herself to lose even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He traces the shape of her nose, the curve of her lips, the arch of her eyebrows, memorising the feel of them all. The chance of him losing her is so real, something he knew from the moment she told him about the chip, but he realises now that it is so desperately real, so impossibly possible, and it hits him like a tidal wave that he may lose this woman.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her in aching adoration. This woman, who is powerful and strong and delicate and real, who chose to love him (</span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>!) even though she is terrified and under so much pressure. She chose to take the time to let him into her life, when life was trying to rip her into a million different directions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows she isn’t perfect. He knows that she has a hero complex, a suicidal need to save everyone around her, and a penchant to take on guilt like it’s water and she’s a camel. He knows that she would die for her friends, and kill for them too, and that she doesn’t think she deserves to be loved. He knows that she doesn’t understand her worth. He knows that she’s snarky and sarcastic and prefers to avoid facing her own feelings and that sometimes she can’t help but be a little bit superior. She’s stubborn and cocky and she rushes in when she should hold back and more than a little bit reckless. She’s loud and her brain goes a million miles an hour sometimes, and other times she barely has two brain cells to rub together, and sometimes she’s so smart he is blown away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows her</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and dear god he</span>
  <em>
    <span> loves her so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She brought him to life after he’s spent most of it half dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves her and he could very well lose her, and there’s nothing he can do about it. He just has to trust her, and let her solve this whole shit show with the relic on her own two feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her as the sun rises, the soft orange glow making her look ethereal and angelic, and he thinks that maybe this is what his entire life has been moving towards, this one moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This one breath taking moment with this one incredible woman, wrapped in his arms, trusting him to keep her safe and hold her together when she is too tired, too weak, to do it herself any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her and thinks about how goddamned lucky he is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stares at her and thinks about how much he loves her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wakes groggily and unwillingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't rush her, doesn't move or speak or make any noise really, allowing her to roll her shoulders and then open her eyes, close them again, shuffle, huff, stretch her whole body, snuggle into him again, and then sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you sleep at all?" Her eyes are still closed, and she's still relaxed in his arms, but she's obviously decided to wake up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A bit" he lies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Liar" the word is spoken softly, and with a hint of a smile, so he knows she isn't mad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pants on fire" he matches her tone, his voice soft and sweet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She snorts a laugh, leaning up to blindly plant a kiss on his cheek. He intercepts and presses his lips to hers, gently. She sighs against his lips, but it's a sweet, pleased sigh, and it warms him. His lips press to hers more intently, tongue darting out to trace that beautiful lower lip of hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiles, her lips curving, stretching widely as if she cannot contain it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she's shrieking with laughter as he presses kisses all over her face; on her cheeks, her brows, the tip of her nose. She rolls delightedly away from him, trying to escape, but he follows her, their bodies twisting and rolling on the bed, their laughter filling the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It ends with her pinned underneath him, and she is grinning up at him, affection lighting up her entire face. She reaches up to cradle his face as if he is the most precious thing in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t felt this free in months,” she admits, “so carefree that I could float away”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kisses the inside of her palm and then nuzzles into it, “I’m glad, you deserve it…” he hesitates a moment, staring into her eyes to make sure she listens, “thank you for trusting me last night”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face softens, her smile turning tender and quiet, “thank you for making me talk. I didn’t know how much I was bottling it up,” she looks over his shoulder, and he waits patiently as her eyes widen with surprise, “Johnny says thank you, for taking care of me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River rolls off of her, laying next to her, “he’s here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, looking between him and his desk, her voice distant and distracted “he normally disappears when we’re together, tries to give me some semblance of privacy, but he… apparently he was worried. I scared him yesterday”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River considers this, rolling onto his back. V had told him that she had Johnny had been building a bridge between their rivalry and a possible friendship, but this was the first time that V had spoken of him showing genuine affection for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V’s laughter breaks through his thoughts, “he says it’s still disgusting that I’m fucking a cop”, River chuckles with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Johnny is still Johnny, thank God.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spend the morning playing with Monique and Dorian, and Randy sits with them while they eat lunch. He’s still quiet, but he makes an effort to join in the conversation, laughing when River and Joss rib each other good naturedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After they’ve devoured lunch, V drags River up to the water tower. Randy faux gags as they walk away, and V pokes her tongue out at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They settle on the edge, V tucked against him and River’s arm wrapped around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant what I said earlier, about being grateful for looking after me yesterday” she tells him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, V, it’s okay, it’s what I’m here for” he rubs her arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t let myself be vulnerable in so long, it’s really nice to not have to be strong all the time,” she tells him as she presses her lips to his jaw, “nice to know that I can let myself relax, and let go of all the shit that’s weighing on me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans his head so that she has better access to his jaw, loving the way her lips feel on his skin. He doesn’t want her to stop, so he just hums his agreement to her. He can feel the smirk twist her lips and his stomach flips as her hand starts to roam on his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very nice to bare myself </span>
  <em>
    <span>exposed </span>
  </em>
  <span>like that, almost as if I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>naked </span>
  </em>
  <span>and defenceless in front of you” she purrs, her kisses turning to nibbles as her hand caresses his dick over his pants. He groans at her touch, aching for more and already half hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love how you react to me,” she moans, “how easy it is to turn you on,” she’s pushing him to lay back, moving to straddle him, “makes me feel so fuckin’ powerful”, her hand slips under his waistband, rubbing his now </span>
  <em>
    <span>painfully </span>
  </em>
  <span>hard dick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are powerful” he grinds out, trying desperately to focus on her words and not her hand wrapped around him. He briefly - so briefly - thinks how glad he is that he didn’t bother changing out of his pyjama pants earlier. Her hand slips out from his pants and she grinds herself against him, and all thought leaves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves being in control, he really does, loves it when she’s submissive and even more when she’s bratty about it, but it always </span>
  <b>blows his mind</b>
  <span> when she takes charge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shirt off” she demands, and he rips it off, unable to stop himself from rolling his hips into her. She plants her hands on his chest, rolling with him, biting her lip to try and stifle the mewl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck Riv, we need to move,” a pause as he moves one of his hands from her hips up to her throat and a breathless whine is torn from her, “</span>
  <b>River</b>
  <span>, take me inside”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They aren’t gonna make it inside, he knows that even as she asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gets off of him anyway, stumbling over to the ladder as if she was drunk. When they get down the two levels and back on solid ground, he grabs her and pins her up against the water tower. Her legs wrap around his waist, something that came naturally to her, and moans his name as he slips his hand under her shorts to swipe at her cunt and tease her clit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So fucking wet for me, Valerie” his voice is hoarse and low, and it has her arching her back and mewling. Her hands are desperately pushing at his pants, exposing his ass, clawing at the bared flesh and hissing as he ruts into her. She’s mumbling incoherently between lewd whimpers, and River wants her to tell him what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want? Tell me what you want, Valerie” he growls into her ear, before biting at her neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She whimpers, arching her neck to expose herself to him more, “need you inside me Riv, please, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>, need you”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s </span>
  <b>begging, </b>
  <span>and God that turns him on. He unwraps her legs from around him, letting her legs drop to the ground and then pushes her shorts down, stepping her legs out of them as he kisses his way up and down her legs. She’s keening above him and he can’t take it anymore, standing up and ripping his pants down just far enough to free his cock. He grabs one of her legs and rips it up over his hip so he can line himself up with her cunt, and then he’s pushing into her and they’re both a mess of obscene and filthy moans. He buries himself in her, her arms wrapping around his neck and hoisting herself up to wrap both legs around his waist as he sheaths himself completely in her.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>fuck</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Move, River” she sobs, and he’s pulling out and pumping back into her. He loses himself in her, in the sopping heat of her, in the pornographic wet noises coming from them, in the slap of skin on skin. She’s mewling and whimpering his name and other obscenities, and he can feel the grunts being wrenched from his throat. One of her hands is scratching at the base of his skull while the other is digging into his ass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pounds into her so hard that he worries about bruising her some more, but she’s urging him on with the noises escaping her, and he cannot stop himself, can’t control himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is lost in her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you,” she pants, “love you so fuckin’ much”, a long, low, vulgar growl reverberates through him and he fucks up into her with renewed vigour, their bodies both glistening with sweat. One of his hands moves back to circle around her clit, while the other roughly rips her shirt down to expose her tits and he lowers his mouth to tease her nipple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cries out, her whole body shaking as she tightens around him, walls fluttering. He keeps thrusting, his whole body pulsating with desire until he breaks, roaring as he spills into her. They ride out their orgasms together, and he brings his lips to hers, kissing her passionately as his entire body shakes with exhaustion. He lowers to his knees, holding her against him, safe in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you” she whispers, once she has come back down from her high, “I love you so much” She presses soft, sweet kisses to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is overwhelmed with bliss.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. But I Believe In You And Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am so, so, so sorry this took so long to get out. I got stuck, and I mean STUCK. I knew where I wanted to go, but I couldn't get there. I rewrote this like 5 times, and then my boyfriend was like "just do this" and I was like ???!!!! I CAN DO THAT???!!! and then I did it, and oh my lord. It worked.<br/>Anyway, again, sorry for the delay. Final chapter will be out soon too :)<br/>Thank you all so, so much for reading and commenting and kudosing and being generally amazing &lt;3<br/>I appreciate every single one of you, you're all amazing !</p><p>Chapter title from "Wonderland" by Natalia Kills.</p><p>Enjoy darlings!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>For the next two weeks, River hardly hears from V, and while he knows it is because she is throwing herself into fixing the relic problem, he can’t help but be concerned. When they do talk, she sounds exhausted, and the three times he actually sees her, she looks pale and exhausted, and it is all she can do to trudge off of her bike and into his arms on the porch. He puts her to bed, she sleeps a few hours, and then is off again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t eat, so he makes sure to put some extra burritos and wontons into her backpack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t take time to heal, so while she sleeps he dresses her wounds and cleans them up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He worries, she tries to reassure him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t work, but he's just happy that she keeps coming back to him in mostly one piece.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she goes three whole days without contacting him, and it takes everything in him to not drown in the panic. He makes use of his contacts, makes sure that no bodies have been tagged that match her description. He paces and fidgets, destroys his boxing bag, buys a new one, and spends a lot of time with Randy, who seems to make it his mission to keep his uncle distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the third day she calls him and the blood rushes back into his veins with so much force that he almost falls to his knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sounds like shit on the phone, voice scratchy and bone weary, but she assures him that she is alive and mostly okay, just reeling from an 'incident with Johnny'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's getting worse, isn't it?" He asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pauses, chokes down a sob or a sigh or a chuckle, he can't tell, "yeah. But right now, I don't wanna talk about that. I just want to you talk to me while"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything. Everything. Nothing. Doesn't matter what, Riv, I just want to hear you, just wanna know that you're here, and I'm still here, and forget everything that's happening”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's an ache in his chest as the sheer hopelessness drenching her voice, but he starts talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He talks, and talks, and talks. Talks more in those three hours than he has in years. Keeps talking until he hears her breathing even out and the occasional snore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stays on the phone, doesn't disconnect, just in case she wakes up and needs him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hums to her, sings softly, whispers that he loves her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sleeps evenly, and he falls asleep too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V makes sure to check in regularly after that, but he still rarely sees her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s searching warehouses again. Frantically ripping open boxes and doors, and sprinting down hallways painted by flickering lights.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She isn’t here, she isn’t here, she isn’t here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He’s failed her</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smashes open another door, and another, and another.  Flips over tables, wrenches open lockers and closets, throws boxes off of shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“River”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears her calling his name, her voice smooth and calm, soothing almost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“V!” He roars, “V, where are you?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wake up River, it's just a dream…. Just a dream, baby</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He surges upwards as he jolts awake, but V is right there, her hands cupping his face and whispering soft, soothing nothings to him as she wraps herself around him. He leans into her, arms wrapped around her and taking shaky, heaving breaths as he becomes more and more aware of his surroundings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay like that, entwined on the bed, V softly trailing her fingers up and down his back while River evens out his breathing and nuzzles into the crook of her neck, until peace is returned to both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fancy seein’ you here,” River mumbles into V’s neck, breathing in her clean, floral scent. It takes him a moment to realise that she smells freshly bathed, and she’s put on a perfume that he’s never noticed on her before. His hands start searching her body, feeling the soft, fresh material of her clothes. He pulls back to inspect, eyebrows shooting up as he takes in her appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s wearing a faded charcoal grey skin tight bodysuit which dips low into her cleavage, and a black and red tartan mini skirt, which she had pushed up to her waist to wrap her legs around him. She’s been particularly careful with her makeup, too, black lining her eyes while her lips were a deep, dark maroon. Her hair, now a deep red, was pulled into a French braid, strands carefully pulled out to frame her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is achingly beautiful, and he hears himself mutter “Damn, V” before he is aware that he is able to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughs at him, joyful and light, and his heart soars - she looks healthier, happier than she has in so long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn yourself, Riv,” she smirks cheekily, “You wake up looking like a Mr Stud model, even with nightmares”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls his eyes at her, “as much as I appreciate the over exaggerated compliment, is there a reason you’re all dressed up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V giggles, a sound that sends warmth buzzing through River’s limbs, and hops off the bed. She carefully wiggles her skirt back into place - River is wholly distracted by the flash of burgundy lace that covers exactly none of her ass - and then pulls her black socks back up over her knees and steps into her blacked out chunky heel boots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are going on a date,” she answers smugly, “a proper date, like normal people do” She spins to face him, hands settling on her hips and beaming proudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cannot help the grin that lights up his face, “That sounds amazing, V. Must be a big deal, if you got all dressed up for it”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolls her eyes and smooths her skirt, but she’s smiling sweetly, “I wouldn’t call this </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘dressed up’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s just clean threads that aren’t torn or ratty from merc work, that’s all,” she claps her hands twice, sharply, “But, go, shower, I have a few things planned for us, so you need to shower and get ready”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she drags him out of bed, and pushes him into the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can hear Joss, Mon and Dorian explode with laughter from the kitchen as he is bulldozed past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V is shaking with laughter, her hands flat on his back as she strains to push him. He isn’t really resisting, and she isn’t really trying, but it makes for a funny image and the laughter bubbles up from deep within his chest - he doesn’t try to contain it. River turns as they cross the threshold of the bathroom, pressing a tender kiss to V’s lips before pulling back, winking, and closing the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She just laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Half an hour later, and 16 covert messages back and forth to Joss, River is dressed in a clean white tee, dark charcoal grey jeans and his normal boots, with his jacket in his hand. They say farewell to the family - even Randy has joined them in the kitchen now - and walk hand in hand to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The first surprise I have for you is parked out front" she grins at him and opens the door, revealing Johnny Silverhands' 911 parked next to his truck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River isn't exactly a big car person, nor a big Silverhand fan, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span> the 911 is a nice car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know you love your truck, but this thing is an absolute </span>
  <b>beast</b>
  <span> and it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>so nice</span>
  </em>
  <span> to dri-" He twirls her into him, kissing her soundly, cutting off all her nervous chatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First surprise is a resounding success, V. Stop stressing"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She beams up at him, her nose crinkling in that way that makes him feel like he might explode. She kisses him and hops over to the car, sliding into the passenger seat. He opens the driver side door and just stares for a moment, before reverently settling into the driver's seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where to?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Remember that marketplace we went to when we were searching for Horváth's boss? There"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He feels his brow furrow as confusion bubbles within him, but he trusts V, so he shrugs, and drives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive is fantastic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The 911 handles like a dream, and the sheer </span>
  <em>
    <span>power</span>
  </em>
  <span> of it makes him tingle all over. River decides to give Johnny some credit… not much, but some.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he drives, she tells him about her latest adventures with Panam, about the Panzer and the Raffens and the big move, and her new friend Kerry Eurodyne. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kerry Eurodyne. She tells him about meeting Us Cracks, and how they're genuinely wonderful girls, and about how she and Judy tried to take over a doll house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cannot help but look at her with wonder and awe. She had accomplished so much in such a short time, all the while feeling like shit and not sleeping and hardly remembering to look after herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He parks in the same place he parked before, she links their hands together and leads them into the marketplace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She starts to dance a little when they get to the back, and then she stops when they stand in front of a small restaurant. He looks at it with one eyebrow raised, and he can feel the scepticism marking his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!" She whines, “don’t knock it! These guys have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>best </span>
  </em>
  <span>green tea and ramen that I’ve found in night city!” then she dances back over to him, and mock whispers, “and besides, me and the owner are chooms now, so he gives me free sides and extra toppings"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can only laugh as she winks, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the little shop. She greets the owner, loudly, and they launch into a conversation in very quick Japanese that River’s cyberware struggles to keep up with, so he doesn’t bother. He looks around the shop, and is surprised by how clean and charming the place is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The owner comes out from behind the counter and pulls V into a deep hug, before turning to River and holding out his hand. V quickly introduces him as Yukio, and he then guides them to a table around the side. The music is soft and traditional, just the right volume to not interrupt conversation but still soothing, and River can see V relax into the seat with a familiarity that he hasn’t seen her exhibit anywhere else aside from his home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukio returns quickly with a steaming tea pot within seconds, and two small bowls of miso soup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just your usual today, V?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V smiles happily up at Yukio, and nods, staring at River contemplatively.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River turns to Yukio only to see the same expression on the man's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Number three special for him, I think," she says, and Yukio nods solemnly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought as much. Side of Yakitori and dumplings too"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V nods, humming appreciatively, "you're the best, Yukio"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles down at her softly, "Only for you, V" and bows his head slightly before toddling away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River pours tea for the both of them and then looks at her expectantly. She rolls her eyes but grins cheekily at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I came back here a few days after we were here, something for Johnny, and the smell was just to die for, so I had to try it out. I was immediately hooked," she takes a sip of miso and sighs contentedly, "you know how I am with food - sometimes I forget to eat, but when I do, </span>
  <em>
    <span>man, do I eat</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So I come through here every other day and normally down three peoples worth of food, and I always tip big. I even bought Takemura some leftovers from here, and he said it was the only palatable food in the entire city"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River smiled, knowing of Takemura from what V had told him. He knew the man was practically starving to death because he refused to like any of the food Night City had to offer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukio hustled back out, and delivered fresh yakitori sticks and some steamed dumplings, he smiled at River broadly as he set the food down, "V has spent much time talking about you, Detective. You have made her very, very happy. I am glad to see her looking so healthy, and that she has finally brought you here! My wife has been dying to meet you!" Then he winked, "or maybe just to </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> you" and then he bursts into laughter as V giggles with him, her cheeks flushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukio is still laughing as he walks away, and V stuffs a whole yakitori ball into her mouth, before squeaking a fanning her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River laughs at her, and soon she is laughing too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She swallows down her mouthful and then begins to explain, "normally I sit at the bar, and talk to Marie or Yukio, sometimes both. They're very good listeners, and they have sound advice. Marie loves to hear about you and I - she thinks it's desperately romantic, a cop and a merc. Yukio likes to get me to try his new recipes, or his more traditional cooking that didn't make it to the menu. He likes to talk to me about Japan, since I've been there. They followed their son here to NC nine years ago, so they could help with their grand babies. Family is very important to them"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can see why you get along so well" he keeps his voice soft, and V sends him a dreamy, soft look before grinning and finishing the last dumpling. River has to admit, the food so far has been amazing, definitely the best Japanese food he's had in Night City.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukio then delivers two large bowls of ramen, tempura "prawn" for River and BBQ imitation pork for V. V thanks him wholeheartedly and then dives into her ramen bowl, not waiting for River.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moans in delight at the first mouthful, even as the steam puffs out from her nostrils. River is slower to start, but is blown away by the delicious flavours and finishes his bowl before V does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which surprises both of them, as V is renowned for wolfing down food at a pace that makes people concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit in their chairs comfortably, finishing their tea and miso, and chatting easily about things River is fixing, or still needs to do for his PI gig, or the crazy shit that V has been up to, or what she wants to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A woman approaches them with two small bowls and V smiles warmly at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Marie! Marie, this is River!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Marie nods, "Yes V, I gathered as much. He is even more handsome than I imagined. I should have listened to you" she speaks softly, but her voice is warm and caring, almost maternally so. River immediately likes her, finds that he cannot help himself, even though he is blushing at her comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She puts the two bowls down for them and V thanks her with a childlike glee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Chocolate lava cake, it's my favourite!" She pauses a moment, "Unless you can get sticky date pudding, but I haven't seen that since I was a child"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River makes a note to learn to make sticky date pudding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both dig into the dessert, even though River doesn't think he has any room left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He finishes it anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit at Yukio's for another half an hour, Marie and Yukio come and sit with them when they can. The conversation is easy and playful, with laughter a comment feature. Marie does not stop smiling maternally at him. Yukio keeps trying to feed him more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(V eats all the extra food for him, and he does not know where she puts it all…)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, Marie shoos them out, "go on, get out of here you love birds. Surely you've got more romantic things planned for the day"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The marketplace is coming alive as it nears midday, and the couple has to duck and weave their way through the crowd, but they keep their hands locked the entire way. There are a few people admiring the 911, but they don't dare approach it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V slips into the driver side this time, however, and River tries to cover up the cringe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C'mon, I wanna show you something" is all she says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> that this means she's gonna drive even more like a maniac than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He braces himself in the passenger seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The 'something' that V meant to show him was actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>several</span>
  </em>
  <span> somethings. Her favourite places in night city, some cool graffiti she loved, and then introducing him to some of her closest friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Misty and Vik were easy, and River really enjoyed them both. Misty said that River had a beautiful aura about him, a deep connection to himself, and Vik appreciated his cyberware, even offered to upgrade it when need be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next came Kerry, who was nicer than River had expected, and they took a selfie with V to send to Randy. (Randy responded with some choice words and a lot of exclamation points.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Last, but most certainly not least, V took River out to meet the Aldecaldos. That was, perhaps, one of the most interesting experiences of his life so far. Panam, after throwing herself at V, turned to him and told him that if he was a brave, brave man to be dating V. River chose to take that as a compliment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River starts to drag V back to the car as the sun sets, after she and Panam have a few rounds of increasingly drunk karaoke. V hugs Panam affectionately as they leave, and then drapes herself on him in a way that forces River to carry her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does so with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’ve been sitting in a booth at Chubby Buffalo’s for almost two hours, and River is just starting to think that V might be sober. They are happily lounging, reordering fries and coffee as needed, and the waiters are happy to just let them sit for a while since the rush has passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s deep in thought, and has been for a minute or two. Just when River thinks about asking her what’s going on, she opens her mouth and declares “I think I want ice cream”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs, loudly, and she gets the attention of the waiter and places an order for two sundaes; one chocolate, one strawberry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She settles back into his arms, looking proud of herself and River presses a kiss to her forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A thundering pop startles them both, making them jump -V more than River- and their heads whip around to the three men standing in the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one at the front is holding a shotgun, pointed at the roof.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everybody get the fuck down!” He screams, voice wild and uneven. The two idiots standing behind him are fidgety and nervous, one holding a pistol and the other a baseball bat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No body fucking moves!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You!” Shotgun points at a waiter, “Gimme all the eddies in the till!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River looks to V, only to find her staring at shotgun, an eyebrow raised challengingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Babe,” he whispers, “You got a gun? A weapon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another shotgun round fired into the roof, “Oi! You two! Shut up!” - They both ignore Shotgun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns to him with an incredulous look, then gestures to herself, “Are you shitting me? Baby, where the fuck would I be able to hide a gun in this outfit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River takes a moment to appreciate her again, the skin tight bodysuit and the mini skirt. He gestures to her skirt; she looks at him like he's an idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are we kidding, babe,” he snorts, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You are the weapon</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Shotgun steps closer, “I said to shut the fuck up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her lips curve into a predatory smirk, “I love you”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then she stands, hands held above her head casually, fixing Shotgun with a wholly unimpressed frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck are you doing?!” He roars. River rolls his shoulders, and gets ready to jump the table and tackle Twitchy Pistol Guy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V steps towards Shotgun, her voice level and smooth, if a bit mocking, “Do you know who I am?” she doesn’t give him two seconds to respond, “I’m motherfucking V. </span>
  <b>The</b>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Motherfucking</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <b>V</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shotgun looks at her closely, inspecting her up and down, before he rolls his eyes and snorts, “Yeah, right, and I’m Mr. Stud. Nice to meet you,” He points the shotgun at her now, and River almost shakes his head. “Sit the fuck down, you piece of shit”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was playing right into her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V smiles sweetly, and River tenses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. You sit down,” V snaps forward, snatches the shotgun and disarms him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River surges forward, throwing himself at Twitchy Pistol, grabbing his hand and smacking it onto the wall. Twitchy drops the pistol. River slogs him with a right hook and he drops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baseball Bat is staring at V, mouth open wide, and River holds out his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V has Shotgun on his knees in front of her, his hands resting on his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baseball bat gently deposits the bat into River’s outstretched hand and then goes to run out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River seizes him by the collar and kicks out his knee, dropping him next to Twitchy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A waiter approaches them, and helps them to zip tie all three gonks, then hands them their sundaes to go, ushering them out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Otherwise you’ll have to fill out paperwork” he explains, and they thank him before ducking into the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V drives them back to her apartment complex, quiet the entire time, which worries River. She drags her feet as she leads him to the elevator, opening one of the takeaway containers and diving in once the doors have closed and she’s punched a level. She huffs as the elevator stops, and she leads him through the stores and take away joints, and up a set of stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ta-da” she sneers unenthusiastically as she opens her door and moves aside so he can step through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes it all in - the posters on the walls, the messy wardrobe spilling out onto the floor, the full ashtray on the coffee table, the stuffed toys, the maneki cat statues scattered around, the intricate masks, the candles on almost every surface, and books, </span>
  <em>
    <span>books everywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The apartment is so entirely V that he instantly feels comfortable and warm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to V, takes in her frown and the crease between her brows, and opens his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She instantly puts down her ice cream and flows forward to bury herself in his chest. He runs his hands gently up and down her back, pressing soft kisses to the crown of her head. She takes several deep breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry” her voice is muffled against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have nothing to apologise for, V” he keeps his voice soft and soothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This date was supposed to be perfect. I have a meeting with Hanako Arasaka tomorrow night. I… I wanted today to be perfect. Something for us to hold on to if everything goes to shit, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps back, holding her at arm's length, confusion flooding him, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowns, and wraps her arms around herself, “It’s almost over… we’re so close to figuring out this relic thing, and Hanako is the final piece. I’m certain of it”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River knows the ‘we’ she’s talking about isn’t a reference to him, but to the ghost in her head. “Why would that mean everything could go to shit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lowers her eyes to her feet, “It could get messy, Riv… I don’t know what… There’s a lot of paths forward and I might not…” she doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to, River knows what she’s saying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Valerie, you are going to coming back to me”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her hand comes up to caress his face, but she still doesn’t look him in the eyes, “I'm going to try, but it might not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he growls, “I don't </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> about what might go wrong. </span>
  <b>You are coming back to me</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The corners of her lips pull down and her brow furrows, “It might not be an option, River. I won't sacrifice Johnny just because it's the easiest option. I'm going to fight to save him, I'm going to save </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> of us”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic starts to clog his throat, and he feels ridiculous. She’s trying to talk about this logically, prepare him for the possibility that she won’t come back. She’s trying to protect him, and he can’t help but feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry </span>
  </em>
  <span>at her for it. The anger at her makes him angry at himself, but at least the anger overrides the panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand that you won't pick the easy option, I know you don’t want to sacrifice Johnny, but you have to fight for yourself too. You have so many people who love you, and this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> life, </span>
  <em>
    <span>your</span>
  </em>
  <span> body, V. Johnny had his chance”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rips herself away from him, turning to stare out the window, “No River, he didn’t. Arasaka </span>
  <b>stole </b>
  <span>the woman he loved and he spent ten years fighting </span>
  <em>
    <span>for her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He isn’t just a terrorist, River, he… He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much more</span>
  </em>
  <span> than that”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes narrow as he stares at her, the anger and anxiety warring in his stomach, making him want to puke. He feels the goose bumps ripple over his skin even as he tries to take deep, steady breaths. He feels the chill prickling his skin even as he feels his blood start to boil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this </span>
  <b>you</b>
  <span> speaking, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn't bother looking at him, just scoffs dismissively, “Trust me, Riv, he’s fighting this as much as you are. He wants me to pick the path of least resistance. Sacrifice everything else to save myself”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River wants to roar at her to do it, to save herself no matter what, but he knows that isn’t how she works, and he's never felt comfortable screaming anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shouting never helps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he just stares at her as she stares out the window, cracks his knuckles, and his neck, and then stares at her some more. Tries to breathe evenly, tries to find a way to get her to see how important she is. Opens his mouth, shuts it, opens it again, but the words don’t come. Instead, he steps closer to her, wraps his arms around her and rests his chin on her forehead. Tries to let her soothing aura break through the conflicting emotions raging through him.</span>
</p><p><span>She slumps against him, taking a shuddering breath as she whispers to him, “You think I don't know that this is the shittiest possible situation to be in? You think I don’t </span><em><span>want</span></em><span> to promise to come back to you? To be able to plan our future and think about us and getting married and having kids?” Her face is flushed but not with embarrassment, her eyes are glassing over and her lips trembling, “</span><b>I</b> <b>want to live,</b><span> River, I want to live </span><em><span>so bad</span></em><span>. But how can I live with myself if I just let him die?”</span></p><p>
  <span>They stand silently for a moment, holding onto each other like lifelines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River knows that she would rather die than let Johnny down. Somewhere, between him trying to kill her and him saving her, she’s grown attached to the man. River’s known V for what, a month? Two? And he already knows that V puts everything she can into building relationships and forming bonds. She’d been alone for so long that she can’t help but work twice as hard to create real, lasting, deep and profound friendships. He knows that when V loves, she loves hard. He’s seen it in the way she fights so hard for Judy and Panam and Kerry, the way she is so protective over Misty and Vik, the way she’s killing herself for letting Jackie die. He sees it in the way she looks at him like she would rather die than hurt him, the way she tries to protect him at every turn from all the shit she’s going through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is so much more than the cocky, self assured, joking merc she tries to play. She feels so deeply and so much that sometimes she worries it might overwhelm her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River presses a kiss to her forehead, keeps his voice a low hum, “Today </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>perfect, Valerie. Any time I spend with you is perfect. Whatever happens, I know you love me, and you know I love you, and that is enough. </span>
  <b>We </b>
  <span>are enough in this moment, right here, right now”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shudders and he can tell that she is crying. He caresses her back, shushes her lovingly, and presses soft kisses on her skin. He lifts her up and carries her to the bed, sitting her down on the edge. He kneels in front of her, wipes away her tears and kisses her eyes softly, then goes about removing her boots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, jump in the shower and I’ll wash your hair, and then we can cuddle in bed, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods and he helps her undress and then carries her to the bathroom. He strips off his shirt and gets the shower running at a warm temperature, then guides her in. Then he steps out of his pants and wraps himself around her again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He washes her hair gently, humming to her as he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it when you do that” her voice is so soft he almost misses it through the splashing water of the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you hum,” she mumbles, and he realises that she is drained, emotionally, physically and mentally, “It makes me feel warm and safe and soft”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckles, but goes back to humming. When he’s washed her hair and body, he gets out first, drying off quickly so that he can wrap her up in a towel and carry her back to the bed. He sets her down in bed and then moves around the apartment, finding and turning off lights as he moves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s some clothes for you in the wardrobe, if you want them,” she tells him, “I bought them just in case you ever came over”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart swells at her thoughtfulness, and he moves back to the bed in the partial darkness, sliding in to wrap himself around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Valerie” he whispers softly to her as he reaches up and turns off the last light. They settle with him laying on his back, and her head resting on his chest, their arms wrapped around each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, River. So, so much. More than I thought possible” she matches his tone, and presses a soft kiss to his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cards his fingers through her hair and hums until her breathing evens out, and then he lets himself drift off after her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They part ways the next morning with a long, loving embrace, a deep, passionate kiss, and whispered ‘I love you’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V goes radio silent for nine days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>River nearly loses his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>_</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the tenth day, he gets a message from Vik Vektor, telling him that they’ve got her, and he should swing by the clinic when he has a chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s in the truck before he can process what is going on. He drives like a maniac, parks like an idiot, and runs like the wind. He jumps down the stairs into Vik’s clinic and is violently stopped in his tracks by the force of the relief when he sees her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She is battered, bloodied and bruised, but her eyes are open as she lays in the chair. She smiles with the half of her face that isn’t bruised when she sees him, tears leaking out the corners of both eyes - the one that’s swollen shut and the one that is half white and half blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes a breath for the first time in weeks and is at her side without realising he is moving, his hand hovering over her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s terrified to touch her. Whether it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt her or if he isn’t sure she’s real, he isn’t sure. She makes the decision for him and nuzzles into his palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey baby” she coos, pressing her lips to his palm, and he barely hears her over the blood pounding in his ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey kid,” Vik is beside him, hand resting on his shoulder, “Take a seat before you drop” and then there’s a seat underneath him, and he’s sitting in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thinks he mumbles a thanks, but all he can do is stare at V.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She says something, her voice is full of mischief and glee, and it’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. He doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care about the words, only cares that she came back to him, she’s alive, she’s safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She came back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She came back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She came back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughs, and his heart stops again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“River” she says, slowly and clearly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinks several times, and nods, “V” his voice is croaky and rough, but she sighs contentedly at the sounds of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came back to you” she smiles as he starts to laugh. She lets him laugh until he breathless, and then she brings up a hand to caress his face, “River, there’s someone I want you to meet”. He’s staring at her again, but this time he registers her words, and he nods. V nods to Vik, and the other man moves away. River takes the hand that is resting against his cheek and gently holds it, pressing soft pecks to her knuckles. He cannot stop staring at her, cannot stop touching her, making sure she is real and here and alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She came back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A gravelly voice sounds from behind him, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck me, not the cop</span>
  </em>
  <span>”.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It kind shit me how much of a storyline the other companions got compared to River. I mean, Judy, Panam and Kerry have such longer story lines and so much more interaction, it almost feels like they kind of forgot to flesh out River more?? I dunno it just shits me.</p><p>I hope you enjoyed :)<br/>I've edited it as much as I possible can, but please feel free to point out any errors !!<br/>Other chapters to be up shortly!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>